Elvira Mistress of the Dark

ELVIRA:  MISTRESS OF THE DARK

The rise of streaming has been an unexpected boon for collectors of physical media.  With the major studios licensing out niche and cult movie to smaller companies, no title is off-limits for some sort of special edition.  Exhibit A is Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988), the "you-had-to-there" big screen debut of Cassandra Peterson's horror host known for her double Ds and double entendres.

After inheriting a spooky house, complete with a shape shifting poodle and book of spells, Elvira would like nothing better than to sell it all off and make her Vegas debut.  But a rich warlock relative wants the book of spells for his own evil purposes and the townsfolk (led by Ferris Bueller's Edie McClurg) want her burned at the stake.  Meanwhile, every horny teenager in town competes to get a look at what's (barely) hiding under that skin-tight dress.

A pay-cable staple that provided a PG-rated cinematic blow-up doll for pubescent boys, Elvira: Mistress of the Dark has nothing to offer anyone in the Internet era besides a jolt of nostalgia.  Petersen (who's admirably kept the character going well into the new millennium) delivers the same lame jokes, fends off constant sexual harrassment, and then hypocritically brags about her natural "assets."  For serious horror fans, it's a double insult, as she disparages the Roger Corman monster-on-the-loose flicks with impunity, but lacks MST3K's endearing delivery.  There are a few inspired flashes of animated sorcery and one effective "soup dragon."  But, ironically, Petersen (who's credited as a co-writer) and director James Signorelli created a movie that was worse than anything the character ever made fun of onscreen.

That said, the movie has its share of fans that embrace it flaws and all (one of my '80s guilty pleasures, TerrorVision, ranks considerably lower on IMDB, so it's all relative).  And Arrow Video's new special edition Blu-ray delivers a brand new restoration from a 4K scan, three audio commentaries, a Making Of, effects featurette, storyboards, image galleries, trailers, collector's booklet and reversible slip cover...to keep in those aforementioned assets.


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