The Conan Chronicles

While Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings adaptations have stolen most of the glory of late, John Milius take on Conan the Barbarian (1982) remains a politically-incorrect masterpiece of fantasy filmmaking.  Based on Robert E. Howard’s novels, Oliver Stone’s script is a pumped-up celebration of brutality and honor elevating a twisted tale of fathers and sons into something suitably epic, all set to one of the most memorable militaristic scores in cinematic history.  And we haven’t even mentioned Arnold yet!

After being orphaned by the exploits of Thulsa Doom (James Earl Jones), young Conan is sold into slavery and trained for the gladiator arena.  Eventually winning his freedom, the now adult warrior goes on a quest for revenge, leading his team of thieves and outlaws against the power of Doom’s mysterious cult of snake worshippers.

 

Lifting the general theme of his own script for Apocalypse Now, Milius is the perfect match for the material.  He leans hard into the brutality of the source material, staging battle sequences that impress without the crutch of digital trickery.  Conan is a movie that just feels big.  And a fair share of that rides on the massive shoulders of its star, Arnold Schwarzenegger, whose limited English-language ability only enhanced his performance as the brooding, single-minded man-child who eventually rules a kingdom.  

 

If the original Conan is a benchmark in the pantheon of fantasy cinema, it’s sequel, Conan the Destroyer (1984), is little more than a footnote. Richard Fleischer takes over directing duties for a much more family-friendly take on Howard’s work, dragged down by stunt casting (Grace Jones and Wilt Chamberblain) and a general sense of immaturity and budgetary restraint.  

 

Still and all, this double-feature is the closest filmmakers ever came to replicating the art of Frank Frazetta, whose Conan covers on reissued paperbacks were responsible for reinvigorating interest in the franchise in the first place.  So it’s cause for celebration to unbox Arrow Video’s Conan Chronicles, featuring brand-new 4K restorations of both films from the original negatives.  The first feature includes three different cuts via seamless branching.  Extras include new interviews from cast and crew of both films, a collector’s booklet, postcards, posters, isolated score track and audio commentaries (including the legendary Milius / Schwarzenegger track!).

 

Besides crushing your enemies, seeing them driven before and and hearing the lamentation of their women , it’s what is best in life. 

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