Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 4K UHD

Physical media is on a roll, no doubt about it.  With the major studios licensing out niche and cult movie to smaller companies, no title is off-limits for a 4K upgrade.  Exhibit A is Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988), the "you-had-to-there" big screen debut of Cassandra Peterson's horror host known for her double Ds and double entendres.

After inheriting a spooky house, complete with a shape shifting poodle and book of spells, Elvira would like nothing better than to sell it all off and make her Vegas debut.  But a rich warlock relative wants the book of spells for his own evil purposes and the townsfolk (led by Ferris Bueller's Edie McClurg) want her burned at the stake.  Meanwhile, every horny teenager in town competes to get a look at what's (barely) hiding under that skin-tight dress.

 

A pay-cable staple that provided a PG-rated cinematic blow-up doll for pubescent boys, Elvira: Mistress of the Dark has nothing to offer anyone in the Internet era besides a jolt of nostalgia.  Petersen (who's admirably kept the character going well into the new millennium) delivers the same lame jokes, fends off constant sexual harrassment, and then hypocritically brags about her natural "assets."  For serious horror fans, it's a double insult, as she disparages the Roger Corman monster-on-the-loose flicks with impunity, but lacks MST3K's endearing delivery.  There are a few inspired flashes of animated sorcery and one effective "soup dragon."  But, ironically, Petersen (who's credited as a co-writer) and director James Signorelli created a movie that was worse than anything the character ever made fun of onscreen.

 

That said, the movie has its share of fans that embrace it flaws and all (one of my '80s guilty pleasures, TerrorVision, ranks considerably lower on IMDB, so it's all relative).  And Arrow Video upgrades their previous Blu-ray with a brand new 4K restoration and 4K UHD global premiere, with three audio commentaries, a Making Of, effects featurette, storyboards, image galleries, trailers, collector's booklet and reversible slip cover...to keep in those aforementioned assets.  There’s nothing new here, per se, but if you want to ogle Elvira’s goodies, this is as good as it gets.

 

 

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