Movieline Online

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACE (1973): It isn’t possible to overstate the influence of director Tobe Hooper’s roadkill classic on contemporary horror. There simply wouldn’t be a Saw or Hostel franchise without it. While slasher films owned the ‘80s, everything since then is indebted to Hooper, who pioneered the docu-horror approach in his story of inbred cannibals feeding off the edges of civilization. The acting may be questionable and the script more than a bit out of date, but the original TCM still delivers a killing blow none of the sequels are able to achieve. After delivering an “ultimate edition” a year or so back, Dark Sky Films one-up themselves by presenting all the same materials on Blu-ray hi-def, cleaning up the 16mm image as well as technology will allow and loading the extra space with two documentaries, deleted scenes and a tour of the original shooting location...which is now a cozy bed & breakfast!

LEATHERHEADS: If Tom Hanks inherited Hollywood’s mantle of “everyman” from Jimmy Stewart, George Clooney is most certainly this generation’s Cary Grant. Everything from his smug superiority in the Ocean’s films to his screwball turns in the Coen brother’s comedies hearken back to the golden days of the studio system. So it’s no surprise to see Clooney turn back the clock again when he gets behind the camera as well. In Leatherheads he casts himself as “Dodge” Connelly, an over-the-hill professional football player with a plan to give the sport a boost of legitimacy via star college player / war hero Carter Rutherford (John Kraskinski of The Office). Reporter Lexie Littleton (Renee Zellweger) makes for a perfect love triangle as the three compete for each other’s affections and the game winning touchdown. It’s hard to pile on a film like Leatherheads for being too nostalgic when that’s really its whole point for existing. Clooney has proven he’s quite adept as a director and the script ...

LAST HOUSE ON THE BEACH: The Italian film industry never met a genre they didn’t like...or at least blatantly copy and try to make a quick buck. Even early torture porn like Wes Craven’s Last House on the Left inspired a few nasty imitators in its time such as Aldo Lado’s Night Train Murders and Last House on the Beach, directed by “Mondo” specialist Franco Prosperi. Actually two exploitation movies in one, the film combines the best (or worst) of a brutal crime drama with elements of the nunsploitation fetish flicks. Boasting two recognizable stars from the era –Florinda Bolkan, the grand dame of the grindhouse, and pretty boy Ray Lovelock – Last House on the Beach is a mostly unremarkable entry other than its few moments of advertised sexual depravity. A gaggle of Catholic school girls held hostage by a trio of criminals is a classic set-up for excess; but for a filmmaker whose career was built on Faces of Death-style showmanship, Prosperi is surprisingly reserved here. The most effe...

MOTHER OF TEARS: For years Argento apologists have bided their time while the director considered completing his “Three Mothers” trilogy. But as the law of sequels has so often has proven, no film could possibly be worth the wait. And Mother of Tears finds Argento operating nowhere near the height of his powers in a film that feels more like the work of an Argento imitator rather than the genuine article. Reunited with his favorite muse, actress/daughter Asia Argento, the director fills in the blanks of his supernatural story with direct references to previous fan favorites Suspiria and Inferno, leaning on a logical narrative mystery in contrast to the surreal nightmares of the first two films. Despite several inspired flashes of the bizarre (that devil monkey serving as Satan’s bloodhound really freaked me out!), Mother of Tears fails miserably to recreate the atmosphere of unrelenting doom that made the series stand-out in the director’s hit-or-miss oeuvre. Still, Mother of Tears is ...

RODAN / WAR OF THE GARGANTUAS: Although they won’t take home the Nobel Prize this year, Classic Media gets my write-in vote for managing to broker a deal that seemed almost as impossible as peace in the Middle East: convincing Toho studios to release several of their giant monster flicks uncut with Japanese language tracks intact. Next (and hopefully not last) on their list is the long-awaited Rodan / War of the Gargantuas double-feature, either of which could have merited their own solo DVD. If you’re at all familiar with the kaiju eiga genre (and if you’ve read this far, I’ll assume you are) then you already know Rodan was Toho’s first color sci-fi production, introducing a pair of plus-size pteranodons who threaten to huff, puff and blow Tokyo down. The Honda / Tsuburaya creative team uses an American sci-fi template here, with particular inspiration from the giant ant opus Them. But when the monster mayhem starts, it’s all signature Toho-size destruction. The Japanese version drops...

FIST OF LEGEND: The impact Bruce Lee had on the Hong Kong film industry can’t be overstated. Films like Fist of Fury drew so much international attention producers milked the tragic death of their star for years by splicing together stock footage and casting stand-ins just to keep the money train rolling. And although that sort of charisma will never be matched, Jet Li is the heir apparent to Lee’s legacy, even starring in the 1994 remake of the seminal Fist of Fury, retitled Fist of Legend, telling the same story of a Chinese student’s two-fisted rebellion against the occupying Japanese army. Vacillating between angry bad-ass and wide-eyed romantic, the Chen Zehn of Fist of Legend is a contradiction of sorts. Director Gordon Chan isn’t quite willing to give up the genre’s often slapstick elements which were nowhere to be found in the original. But fight choreographer Yuen Wo-Ping matches the best action scenes in Lee’s film, staging the “one-man-against-an-entire-dojo” sequence – by n...

SPEED RACER: Boasting a color scheme full of illegal reds, blue and purples, I’m not sure if Speed Racer should be viewed by anyone under 21. It’s certainly the closest I’ve come to a psychedelic experience since licking that sticker someone passed around at the Floyd concert. But I’m not sure the Wachowski Brothers know who they made the film for either. Like George Lucas’ misguided Star Wars prequels, Speed Racer extends its running time with pointless corporate politics that have no place in a kids’ film. Meanwhile, professional brooder Emile Hirsh is woefully miscast as Speed; he’s like the downer who spoils everyone good trip, man. But for every dramatic beat the Brothers get wrong (and critics were quick to point out a lot of them), there are quite a few they knock out of the park. Visually it’s like driving through Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory at 100mph; all blurred colors and flashing lights sure to cause seizures in the faint of heart. The racing sequences won’t win any poi...

CANNIBAL TERROR: The cannibal craze of the ‘70s had European directors feeding off each other for new and interesting ways to stage their gore. Much of the final product however was banned by Great Britain during the “video nasty” era, a notorious label that is often the only inspiration to watch what are now laughable exercises in filmmaking. And Alain Deruelle’s Cannibal Terror just may be the most hilarious of them all. After a botched kidnapping attempt, three criminals drag their pint-sized paycheck into the jungle until things cool down. But a local tribe of flesh-eaters eventually make sure that justice is served...and gangster is on the menu! Cannibal Terror is a gut-buster of a gut-muncher, so ineptly made that it transcends the genre to become an unintentional spoof of the highest caliber. The “jungle” setting is made up stock footage and one oasis of palm trees off the interstate (seriously, you can see cars driving in the background) while the natives themselves look like p...

HEROES - Seasons 1 & 2: – To answer your question, yes, it really is that good. After debuting on the NBC fall schedule two years ago, producer Tim Kring’s show took off like one of its superpowered characters. The show’s serious-minded approach to comic book mythology actually preceded The Dark Knight in theaters, proving that geek-culture could be just as meaningful and mature as the more pedigreed adult dramas. And for one glorious season there literally was no better show on television. But a ridiculous amount of hype, combined with the writer’s strike, conspired to ensure a predictable sophomore slump in season two. The story Kring and his writers had handled with such care began to go off the rails, new characters were introduced at random while others were trapped in a revolving door of neuroses. But looking back on Blu-ray, even that shortened season is better than most of what passes for entertainment on the other networks. The real achievement of the show is that none of ...

BABY MAMA: I can understand the temptation to write this off as a chick flick, but let’s take a closer look at the chicks in question. Tina Fey broke into boy’s club at Saturday Night Live to become the first female head writer. She currently stars in 30 Rock, hands-down the funniest sitcom on TV. She’s the kind of girl you could fart and burp around yet still find incredibly attractive. And her chemistry with co-star Amy Poehler is the sort of practiced back-and-forth that can only be perfected through years of live television. In short, if you blow off Baby Mama because it stars a couple of women, you’re an ignorant ass. The plot might not bear the mark of comedic genius, but the talent involved is unquestionably brilliant. Fey is an upwardly mobile business woman who hires Poehler to bear her child, despite the fact that Poehler’s white-trash habits clash with her own green-living lifestyle. Most of the film is filled with these “odd couple” moments that in the hands of any other tw...