Movieline Online

THE FLICK: History is littered with failed innovations that were supposed to change the way we spend our leisure time. 8-tracks were going to revolutionize music. Dragon’s Lair was going to turn the videogame industry on its head. And 3D is poised, yet again, to invade theaters. So you’ll understand my hesitation to crown the “Make Your Own Movie” Blu-ray feature on Return to House on Haunted Hill as the next big thing. Don’t get me wrong, the “choose your own adventure” concept is a novel one. It makes for a fun party game and adds a bit of replayability to an otherwise tired sequel to a remake of a ‘50s B-movie. But it can’t save a train-wreck of a script full of bland characters and a low scare ratio. Concocting a ridiculous chain of events that bring together a group of archeology students and hired mercenaries in pursuit of an evil artifact hidden inside the abandoned Vannacutt Mental Asylum, director Victor Garcia makes the most of the previous film’s production design since he r...

THE FLICK: Where to begin? Actually, the question that must have been plaguing director Gore Verbinski is how the hell do we end this thing! It was obvious at the end of part two – Dead Man’s Chest – that the screenplay by Ted Eliott and Terry Rossio had been pushed, pulled and stretched beyond all narrative comprehension. Their cinematic eyes were bigger than their stomachs, and the playful, swashbuckling adventures of Captain Jack and his crew had evolved into a dark, dreary, convoluted series of backstabbing character arcs that were left completely unresolved. It would take nothing short of a miracle for the final chapter to pull all the strings together for a satisfying conclusion. And while producer Jerry Bruckheimer may be the most powerful man in Hollywood, he’s no miracle worker. In fact, the Pirates franchise, as financially successful as it is, may be the one project he let get away from him creatively. For one can’t imagine that such a savvy filmmaker (he turned Nicolas Cage...