girl next door

THE FLICK: Call it the Dude, Where’s My Car effect: that curious sense of surprise that comes from watching a movie you expected to make you gag...only to find it surprisingly palatable. The Girl Next Door fits the profile to a tee, down to the internet ad campaign that interspersed Elisha Cuthbert’s photo with the words, “Dude, she’s a porn star!” Unless you were an underage pubescent with no access to cable-friendly porn, how aroused could your expectations be? But the film manages to build something genuinely sweet out of the masturbatory set-up, just like the recent juvenile jokesters of American Pie (and the even more similar Tom Cruise classic, Risky Business). Matthew Kidman (Emile Hirsh) is a straight-“A” student working toward an all-important college scholarship until it all goes out the window...literally...when he catches a glimpse of the new neighbor, Danielle (Cuthbert), stripping down to her skivvies. After a brief courtship, Matthew finds out the girl of his dreams is a porn star hiding out from her pimp-like manager (played by the very entertaining Timothy Olyphant, doing a riff on the same character he played in Go.) Danielle teaches Matt to loosen up. Matt teaches Danielle the lost art of self-esteem. But their fairy-tale relationship blows up in a million plot devices: Matt blows his scholarship speech while high on X, Danielle returns to a life of porn, and a poor Cambodian kid misses his trip to the States. Director Luke Greenfield throws in a few too many roadblocks in an attempt to cram in more gags (like Matt being forced to steal an embarrassingly phallic trophy from a rival porn producer) when he’s just undermining what made his naughty teen pic original in the first place. Cuthbert’s Danielle is a walking contradiction in terms, perhaps the most virginal porn star this side of an Amish community. But she serves her purpose as the catalyst that makes Matthew a man in more ways than one. And the inventively staged prom night climax that has the gang shooting their own XXX feature on the sly does have a certain comic brilliance. At the very least, it leaves you feeling satisfied...which is more than you can say for most porn films. THE FEATURES: Despite garnering some good reviews, The Girl Next Door didn’t really connect with any particular audience. So, taking advantage of the racy material, Fox is releasing the now standard practice Unrated Version to go along with the theatrical edition. And it’s surprisingly stacked. The 16 Deleted and Extended Scenes have the least to offer; mostly odds and ends except for an alternate ending that puts Matthew at the steps of the Capitol building. The Eli Experience follows actor Chris Marquette in a “David Letterman”-ish spoof as he passes himself off as a porn director at the actual Adult Video Awards. There’s a few commentaries to browse through, a separate track from each of the leads over selected scenes and a full-length one by Greenfield. Cuthbert and Hirsch are extremely low-key and uninspiring, but at least they’re short. A pop-up video inspired Trivia Track is also tacked on to cover any unanswered questions. Still looking for a piece? Then take A Look Next Door for a fairly typical promotional piece with interviews and the like. The Gag Reel is pretty self-explanatory. A Still Gallery (sorry, no nudie shots of Ms. Cuthbert...she doesn’t do that sort of thing) and Trailers complete the happy ending. FINAL SCORE: Even unrated, The Girl Next Door is fairly tame. I can’t recall any full frontal nudity...and I pride myself on remembering that sort of thing. Underneath the skin it’s another coming-of-age story with a good heart. I still don’t think “the juice was worth the squeeze” is particularly romantic or inspiring pick-up line. But that’s just me.