amityville

THE FLICK: Unlike his recent remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, producer Michael Bay isn’t treading on holy ground by updating The Amityville Horror. Yes, it was THE haunted house flick of its generation; a pop-culture popcorn flick pre-sold to audiences on the success of a best-selling book based on the “true” experiences of the Lutz family. But we’re not talking about a masterpiece here. The original was about as edgy as a TV “Movie-of-the-Week.” But certain moments (namely the swarms of flies and a demonic smoker’s voice that commanded, “Get Out!”) stuck in the subconscious, combined with that often duplicated but never replicated 70’s film stock style. Even after 3 or 4 piss-poor sequels, the slate was basically clean for Bay to do whatever the hell he wanted. What’s surprising is that he didn’t change much. George and Kathy Lutz find what they think is the bargain of the century, a three-story colonial mansion priced well-below market value. Of course, there’s always a catch. And this time it’s a doozy. Seems the previous family, the DeFeos, were all murdered in their sleep by their oldest son who claimed voices told him to “catch ‘em and kill ‘em.” George and Kathy decide to move in anyway with their three kids and a dog. As the story goes, 28 days later they left without ever returning for their personal belongings. The “true” story about what happened during those 28 days is now mostly pointless, as the Lutz story has been exposed as fraud in any number of publications and investigations. But it’s a great set-up for a ghost story. And director Andrew Douglas takes advantage of some of the current Nuevo-horror clichés – pasty-faced zombie kids, jerky stop-motion scare effects and lightening quick-edits – to amplify the scares with modern technology. The results? Well, the “new” Amityville Horror isn’t any better than the “old” Amityville Horror. But at least it’s not any worse. Ryan Reynolds pulls off both the normal and possessed aspects of George’s personality better than expected (although I don’t think anyone in the 70’s had abs quite that ripped). And there’s a classic moment that plays on every kid’s fear of getting up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. The babysitter in the closet gag is significantly modified (the fact that she looks like Pam Anderson instead of a dork in braces, chief among them) but otherwise, things play out just about the same; the walls bleed, the flies swarm, and the Lutz family runs screaming off into the night. My only real gripe is the absence of the creepy theme music, which is almost as identifiable as the theme from Jaws. THE FEATURES: The Amityville Collection released earlier this year went in-depth into the real DeFeo case. And we get a condensed version of that here, entitled “Supernatural Homicide.” With perspectives from the ex-police chief, medical examiner and a token physic detective, the 20-minute piece is almost more engaging than the film itself. The eerie and still unexplained mystery behind how Ronald DeFeo managed to shoot his entire family in the back while they slept without anyone waking up still makes for a hell of a spooky story. The Source of Evil is your typical “Making Of.” The cast promotes their roles, the director vows to go for more than “boo” scares, and the tech guys tell you how it was all done. 15-minutes later you’ll know everything there is to know. But in case you’re still not satisfied, there’s 3 On-Set Peeks that interrupt the feature to explore the making of particular scenes. And a commentary with Reynolds and the creative personnel who provide a little more info on the “dead Indian” backstory that supposedly explains the house’s haunted history.