masters of horro-1

THE SHOW: Gathering some of the most prominent names in modern horror cinema under the Showtime label and giving them 12 hour-long episodes of unrated freedom not only sounds too good to be true, it sounds like a producer’s worst nightmare to even try and pull off. But props to perpetual horror hanger-on Mick Garris for getting the job done, at least from a logistical perspective. Creatively, that’s another story. Even factoring in the outrageous expectations, Masters of Horror: S1 was a mixed bag of treats, delivering Bit ‘O Honeys when one was promised full-size candy bars. While Don Coscarelli’s Incident On and Off a Mountain Road was a promising start to the season, subsequent episodes were either interesting concepts that squandered their full potential or quite simply DOA. So who’s to blame? And why was the show successful enough with fans to earn a second season (and possible third)? Because horror fans are a loyal bunch, and the idea being witness to the resurrection of John Carpenter, John Landis or Joe Dante’s career is simply too much to resist. We want these films to be the second-coming; instead, a large percentage of them were just second-rate. But that doesn’t mean they’re not good for a scare or two. Especially on DVD, where the weight of those weekly expectations has lifted a bit. Season One: Vol. 1 Anchor Bay/Starz has gone the extra mile to deliver the goods on Blu-ray, collecting three episodes per volume in a scattershot approach. First is Cigarette Burns, the episode with the best pedigree, having been directed by the legendary John Carpenter and co-written by an Aint It Cool news scribe. Hired to track down an elusive print of “Le Fin Absolue du Monde” (a title which the characters are forced to repeat ad nauseum), ex-junkie / theater owner / private detective Kirby Sweetman gets caught up in the curse surrounding the film, leading up to an orgasmic epilogue of violence. That last bit could serve as a description for practically any episode, as the series never shies away from showing the red stuff. But one expects more from Carpenter, who’s always managed to scare you shitless without getting his hands bloody. His work here is serviceable and non-distinct, while the script insists on adding needless dramatic baggage to its strong central idea. And there’s just no sugar-coating the acting, which is piss-poor student film quality. More effective (or at least amusing) is Stuart Gordon’s Dreams in the Witch House, yet another H.P. Lovecraft adaptation from the director of Re-Animator and From Beyond. A dirt poor student physics student takes a room in the only place he can afford, which just so happens to also be a portal between dimensions sporting a malevolent witch and her man-rat familiar who haunt him in his dreams. Well-acted and smartly paced, Gordon has a good thing going here with just enough Cthulu-style mystery to keep you involved. The man-rat effects are corny but creepy and a dash of nudity feeds the average fan’s more puerile interests (liberal amounts of female flesh being another component the show doesn’t shy away from). Fanboys were harsh on The Fair-Haired Child, directed by William Malone (whose remakes of 13 Ghosts and House on Haunted Hill don’t exactly qualify him for “master” status). However, it’s actually one of the highlights of the season, beginning with a creepy kidnapping that lands a schoolgirl into a fruit-cellar prison along with a mute teenage boy. Witchcraft and human sacrifices come into play, along with a surprise happy ending, that make this the closest to an old-school Twilight Zone episode you’re likely to see. Season One: Vol. 2 Dario Argento pulled off his own anthology TV series in his native Italy, so working on Jenifer probably wasn’t such a stretch for the director known for his elaborate gore set-pieces. Steven Weber of Wings stars as a cop who prevents the murder of a facially disfigured woman, only to find himself sexually obsessed despite her monstrous appearance and behavior. Like Carpenter’s contribution, there’s nothing distinctly “Argento-esgue” about Jenifer, but it’s definitely disturbing. Scenes of erotic intensity are balanced with the grotesque to combine for a very unsettling experience. Real world plot holes sink the story if you look too hard and some of the acting is questionable, but you can’t help but pity the main character’s addiction to the ultimate “buttaface.” Although also undeserving of the “master” moniker, director Lucky McGee crafts a nice black comedy in Sick Girl, starring Angela Bettis and Erin Brown (aka Misty Mundae, porn star) as love-struck lesbians whose relationship is going swimmingly until an unusual bug lays eggs inside their ears. Bettis’ performance swerves dangerously close to SNL-parody, but also makes for some great fun. And while the special effects are probably the weakest of the season, the shift in tone is appreciated. Speaking of which, director John Landis’ Deer Woman is a fine return to comedy/horror form and the one episode that earned near unanimous praise. Brian Benben stars as a cop investigating a series of murders in which the victims were stomped to death by hooves of some sort. And despite all common sense, the clues point to the culprit being the beautiful personification of a Native American legend. Landis clearly has tongue in cheek here, and it’s a breath of fresh air for the series. THE FEATURES: Presented in 1080i on Blu-ray, each of the episodes look tremendous with an appreciable amount of detail that didn’t show up on the Showtime broadcasts. The audio also gets a healthy boost with uncompressed PCM 5.1 tracks. Well worth the upgrade from standard-def, especially considering you get 3 episodes in each set. Extras include a commentary on each episode from the various creative types involved. As is the case with much episodic television, Masters of Horror actually plays better when you can watch at your own pace. And the Blu-ray experience is damn near flawless.