SINFUL DWARF

THE SINFUL DWARF: Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off sin I go! Actually, poor Olaf (Torben Bille) is just the muscle behind his dope-smuggling mother’s master plan to pimp out unsuspecting tenants in her boarding house and turn them into junkie sex slaves. Between clients, Olaf steals a moment or two to torture his mother’s pets with his collection of wind up poodles, monkeys and choo-choo trains. It’s all morally despicable - much like a John Waters movie played straight – shot through an inch-thick layer of drive-in sleaze. Torben’s crooked smile and threatening limp are actually less disturbing than the parade of simulated (?) sex scenes that manage to make every naked body unflattering besides lead actress Anne Sparrow. The Sinful Dwarf could make for a crude, campy party flick if not for its mile-long mean streak...but that, of course, is exactly what makes it so infamous in the first place. Severin Films DVD presentation is a flecked, grainy affair that looks like it was found in a pedophile’s closet and maintained with a pervert’s loving care. Extras include a spoof documentary, trailers and radio spots. TOP GIRL: Remember Up Close and Personal from 1996, the Michelle Pfeiffer / Robert Redford vehicle where a naïve reporter rose through the ranks to become a respected journalist thanks to the sage wisdom of her older mentor? Well, Top Girl, produced the same year, tells much the same story with sleazier results. A naïve actress is plucked from obscurity to star in a popular soap opera, relying on a hot-shot young executive for career advice. Unfortunately that advice is “Sleep your way to the top...starting with me.” Directed by skin-flick auteur Joe D’Amato, this low-key erotic morality tale is paced like a Cinemax late-night special (nudity every 15-minutes, like clockwork) but staged like a Viagra commercial. How a sleaze-merchant like D’Amato could deliver something so un-tittilating is a mystery, but it starts with an unappealing cast, including star Carla Solaro whose body bears the scars of a mid-90s porn star and lead “stud” Robert Madison (Mother of Tears) whose Thompson Twins hairstyle is a source of constant amusement. But not much else is amusing about Top Girl, a direct-to-video remnant of an era best left buried under a sea of VHS tapes. MYA Communications DVD looks as good as its source material allows, though. However audio drop outs on the English language tracks (Italian tracks have no subtitles provided) prove to be a constant annoyance.