HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME: You have to remember than in 1980, having Melissa Sue Anderson of Little House on the Prairie star in a slasher film was the equivalent of Miley Cyrus pole dancing. It was a big deal...at least for a week or so. The actual film is exceedingly well shot by director J. Lee Thompson (the original Cape Fear) and looks like a million bucks compared to similar horror knock-offs of the day. The victims this time are a private school “top ten,” an incestuous little group of rich kids who include the skittish Virginia (Anderson) in their nightly carousing. But when the “who’s who” begin to disappear, Virginia seems the most likely suspect thanks to her mysterious brain surgery and questionable memory. The plot becomes downright ludicrous towards the end and the killings are all rather quaint by today’s standards. But Anchor Bay provides a gorgeous new transfer and the original soundtrack, which had been replaced on previous releases. GRACE: Childbirth is a scary concept for most men all on it’s own. So the idea of a woman whose stillborn child comes back to life, then demands a strict diet of human blood...well, that’s just plain terrifying. And remarkably, it is terrifying rather than ridiculous thanks to a sober tone set by writer / director Paul Solet. Like the body-obsessed horror of David Cronenberg, Solet pulls no punches psychologically. Grace is wholly unsettling for a number of reasons and yet also paints a sympathetic portrait of a woman who will do anything for her child. Bouncing between the story of two grieving parents, the film rarely needs to succumb to depictions of graphic gore to make its point. But when it does, watch out! Anchor Bay’s Blu-ray provides two commentaries and several featurettes. IT’S ALIVE (2008): Anyone up for two killer infant movies in a row? C’mon, it’s Halloween! This one couldn’t be more different than the art-house approach used in Grace. Based on Larry Cohen’s original film from 1974 (which spawned two sequels, by the way), this is a straight-up creature feature with poor Bijou Phillips giving birth to a perfectly healthy baby boy that turns into a ravenous beast with superhuman strength. The horrific situations are out-and-out preposterous here, and the film’s setting really pales in comparison to the original’s LA sewer finale. The tone seems to suggest director Josef Rusnak was up for taking things seriously, but the exaggeratedly bloody execution says otherwise. DON’T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK: Available only at the Warner Archives (wbshop.com), this is the end-all be-all of scary made-for-TV movies. Kim Darby stars as a nervous housewife who opens a mysterious fireplace and unwittingly releases a gaggle of pint-sized demons who proceed to drive her insane. The 70s housewife clichés are almost as amusing at the film itself. But make no mistake, this one hasn’t garnered a reputation for messing up an entire generation of kids for nothing. There is some seriously clever trick photography used to create the illusion of the miniature monster, who torment poor Kim Darby from every corner of the house before finally dragging her off to....what did you think I was going to ruin the ending? A serious influence on Gremlins too, by the way. Finally available on a legit release. Get online and get it! TRICK ‘R TREAT: Looking for a film that completely encapsulates the childlike atmosphere of Halloween but doesn’t skimp on the sex and violence! You’re in luck, cause Trick ‘r Treat is probably the best rental of the season. Director Michael Dougherty turns in an unofficial sequel to Creepshow with this tribute to classic horror comics, weaving together several tales of the macabre all happening on one Halloween night. Anna Paquin’s name will get the most recognition but it’s Dougherty’s visuals and the sumptuous set design that will give you the most goosebumps. Fast-paced, funny and supremely entertainment, this is the movie you put in for the adults-only hour after the kids have gone to bed. THE CHILDREN (2009): The British seem to have a history of being terrified of their own kids. How else do you explain this direct inspiration of John Wyndham’s Midwich Cuckoos in which a gaggle of blonde-haired brats terrified a quiet village without raising an eyebrow? In The Children, the violence is much more overt. And the blame lies at the microscopic level after a virus turns a happy Christmas celebration into a bloodbath. The editing is a bit self-conscious and it takes quite a while to get things going. But the anticipation is half the terror. And by the time the nihilistic ending rolls around, director Tom Shankland will have convinced you never to trust anyone under 5 feet tall again! HARDWARE – The only real sci-fi horror flick on our list, director Richard Stanley was blacklisted in Hollywood after only two features (juicy stuff you pick up on the discs many extras), but he left an interesting legacy. Hardware would seem to be typical of the 80s post-apocalyptic craze – with a military robot resurrecting itself to wreak havoc in a small apartment bunker – but Stanley inject psychedelic imagery and a sexual subtext that makes this low-budget production (from the early Miramax days) seem like a rock ‘n roll original. Severin’s Blu-ray was worth the long wait. It includes a full length documentary and several of Stanley’s short films, including the 8mm early version of Hardware itself. AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON – the granddaddy of all modern werewolf movies, comedy specialist John Landis (Animal House, The Blues Brothers) deals out laughs and scares in equal measure in this tale of two American tourists attacked by a monster on the moors. David (David Naughton) is bitten and lives to becomes a maneating lycanthrope terrorizing London. Jack (Griffin Dunne), his buddy, becomes a decomposing ghost who tries to convince him to commit suicide before it’s too late. Before you know it, it’s too late. The revolutionary make-up effects by Rick Baker predate anything in the digital era. Universal’s long-in-the-making Blu-ray releases sports an incredibly comprehensive documentary, Beware the Moon. SHAUN OF THE DEAD – Zombie spoofs seem to be everywhere these days. But no one did it with more affection than the team of Simon Pegg, Nick Frost and director Edgar Wright. Having tons of fun with the George Romero staples (“We’re coming to get you, Barbara!”), Shaun injects the dry British humor of a Monty Python sketch into the trappings of an Italian zombie picture. Shaun is a layabout loser on the verge of losing his girlfriend when the world is overrun by the living dead. Suddenly, his survival skills kick-in and all that time spent drinking in the pub pays off. This is a movie that just plasters a smile on your face from beginning to end...and makes for a great double-feature with their other genre spoof, Hot Fuzz. NIGHT OF DEATH – Although French cinema has recently provided a wave of gory horror imports, films like Night of Death were a real rarity at the time of its release. Director Raphael Delpard takes all the typical Gothic trappings - young naïve serving girl, spooky estate, mysterious doors, deformed handyman – and adds liberal amounts of blood to create a truly unique phantasmagorical experience. Agreeing to a position as caregiver at the Deadlock House, Martine attends to the elderly residents with no idea how “elderly” they actually are! Thanks to bi-monthly feast of human flesh, these old folks plan on making her their very own all-you-can-eat buffet to ensure they live another 1000 years. Full of eccentric characters and shocking moments of carnivorous carnage, Night of Death is another rarely seen gem released through Synapse Films. DRAG ME TO HELL – This is the party movie for Halloween! A triumphant return to the horror genre for director Sam Raimi, one would think it would be impossible for him to recapture the juvenile genius of his earlier Evil Dead films. One would be wrong! Drag Me To Hell is the gooiest PG-13 movie that’s even been released, but it maintains a goofy sense of humor throughout. Alison Lohman stars as a bank teller cursed by an old gypsy woman. If she doesn’t ditch the curse in a few days, her butt will be dragged off to the underworld. Full of old-school “Boo!” scares and more than a few flying body parts, Raimi lets the whole movie go off the rails with ridiculously over-the-top camera work and make-up effects. Great to see him having some fun again! THE STEPFATHER – Even though the script has a Donald Westlake pedigree, the film likely would have turned into just another slasher movie if not for the incredible work of character actor Terry O’Quinn (now a recognizable face thanks for 5 seasons as John Locke on Lost). As a semi-sympathetic psycho who marries into vulnerable families, then turns on them when they don’t play nice, O’Quinn delivers the performance of a lifetime. His chilling line reading, “Wait a minute...Who am I here?” as his mental state begins to unravel is the kind of stuff Oscars are made of...if Oscar ever bothered to look twice at a horror film. Shout Factory’s DVD comes loaded with a great retrospective and audio commentary from director Joseph Ruben. STEPFATHER 2 – with not up to par with the original, this direct-to-video sequel was respectable enough to play a few theaters after it tested well. Most of the success is due once again to Terry O’Quinn’s repeat performance. After busting out of prison, he latches on to another vulnerable family by plying his trade as a therapist. But when friends begin to suspect something is up, the stepfather is obliged to step in and shut them up! There are no real surprises here...only that the film isn’t nearly as terrible as it should have been. The filmmakers themselves own up to the original’s superiority on the copious extras provided on Synapse’s special edition DVD which also includes a commentary and deleted scenes (cut when Miramax executives ordered a reshoot to up the movie’s exploitation appeal). THE NEW YORK RIPPER: Sometimes it takes a foreign director to uncover the hidden beauty (or dark underbelly) of locations we all take for granted. Horror demi-god Lucio Fulci gets the most out of his visit to New York with gritty location photography and effective use of famous iconography - the murder sequence on the Staten Island Ferry makes you wonder why another director didn’t think of it first – in the offensively entertaining New York Ripper. Essentially a hack-n-slash remake of Brian De Palma’s Dressed To Kill, Fulci eschews the suspense and goes straight for the jugular, showcasing some of the most gruesome murder sequences of his career. But it’s how he mixes the violence with a sexual perversions big and small that makes Ripper such a prime example of exploitation excess. Blue Underground ups their own special edition with a Blu-ray version that looks so good Fulci might rise from the grave himself and give them a hi-five. Extras include an interview with actress Zora Kerova and a Then and Now look at the NYC locations featured in the film. STAN HELSING: From the brother of a guy who’s married to the girl who did craft services on Scary Movie 4 comes the next horror film spoof in the pipeline. Apparently the franchise was getting too stale even for an endless supply of Wayans to ressurect, so an entirely new cast of mostly unknowns (except for poor SNL vet Kenan Thompson and the eternal Leslie Nielsen) face off against Jason, Freddy, Pinhead and Chucky. I’ve long since given up understanding the success of these films – no matter how embarrassing the trailer they always seem to premiere at #1 – so suffice to say I’m sure the combination of 20-year-old film references and T & A will satisfy those looking for another fix. Stan (Steve Howey) is a stoner video clerk with the blood of a monster killer who (eventually) discovers his hidden talent on the way to a Halloween party with his three friends. It all culminates with a Karoake-off between Stan and the gang and a team of super monsters. The vibe is pleasant enough thanks to some game performances (Diora Baird has a ditzy slut routine that suggests she might have the same comedic gifts as previous Scary Movie star Anna Farris), but the jokes are still the scariest part of the movie. Anchor Bay’s Blu-ray looks impeccable and comes with a commentary, Making Of and deleted scenes.