museum

NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM: BATTLE OF THE SMITHSONIAN - While the first film was critically derided as a loud, obnoxious money-making calculation, the sequel was largely dismissed altogether despite co-starring Amy Adams, who was up for an Oscar the same year. No one is pretending anything here is award worthy, but the constant barrage of cute creatures and famous exhibits – all brought to life courtesy of that same troublesome Egyptian tablet – is like an irresistible type of “kid-nip” that’s even more effective this time around. Ben Stiller doesn’t bring his “A”-game (in fact, he’s probably the least lifelike character in the film) but a parade of guest stars, including Owen Wilson, Robin Williams, Bill Hader, Christopher Guest and Hank Azaria, more than make-up for his overly familiar neuroses. Still, despite all the special effects and high-profile talent on the pay roll, it’s Adams who does the most to earn her paycheck, providing some spunk and sex appeal to a movie that’s far beneath her means. Fox’s Blu-ray is bound to end up in more than a few stockings. The 3-disc set includes deleted scenes, an alternate ending, the Monkey Mischief short, a standard DVD and digital copy plus behind-the-scenes info on the creation of the “living paintings” sequence, one of the best parts in the film. TERMINATOR: SALVATION – Who was more important to the Terminator franchise: writer/director James Cameron who sold his rights after T2 or Arnold Schwarzennegar who stuck around for one more paycheck on the tepid T3? The question is moot anyway, since producers decided to storm on without either participant in the first installment set during the war against the machines . As John Conner, Christian Bale (whose on-set tirade which was leaked to the web severely tarnished his superhero image) actually plays second-fiddle to Marcus (Sam Worthington who ironically stars in James Cameron’s Avatar), a new Terminator model designed to infiltrate the resistance without knowledge of its robotic origins. In short: he’s a robot who thinks he’s human. Not exactly revolutionary in sci-fi terms and but McG doesn’t have much else to work with. Instead, he creates a dark, dusty reboot that’s equal parts Transformers and The Road Warrior. Not an outright disappointment, but not the massive-scale warfare we were teased with in the first two films’ flashbacks (or would that be flashforwards?). Even though it beat many low expectations, Terminator: Salvation is like so many sequels: impressively produced but ultimately unnecessary. Warner does a fine job on the Blu-ray, emulating the outstanding Maximum Movie Mode that debuted on the Watchmen disc, with McG hosting an array of extras accessible in a very dynamic fashion. STARGATE: 15th ANNIVERSARY EDITION – Like a lot of sci-fi fare, Stargate gets no respect. Despite being a sizable hit during its release in 1994 and spinning off into a variety of TV shows that air 24-7 on the SyFy Channel, the film has few defenders will to go out on a limb and call it a classic. That’s because it’s not. But like other films in the Roland Emmerich / Dean Devlin catalog (Independence Day, Godzilla) it succeeds brilliantly as a large-scale spectacle that sends the audience out with a smile on their face. James Spader is the nerd who discovers a path to the stars mapped out by the Egyptians, who were actually slave labor for alien invaders. Kurt Russell is the soldier brought it to assess the potential danger involved and cover our tracks...by any means necessary. What they find is a desert culture under attack by the very same alien bad guy who now wants to eliminate Earth from the equation altogether. Shot in the Arizona desert for far less money than it looks, Stargate feels like a monstrous production with zippy spaceships, a cast of thousands and gargantuan production design. While some elements of the plot haven’t aged particularly well, the film as a whole is still a grand ‘ol time. Lionsgate’s Blu-ray comes on the heels of several previous releases, but bests them all in terms of picture quality and extras, including five new significant behind-the-scenes features and trivia tracks. THE ROLLING STONES: GIMME SHELTER – There are really only two concert films of significance floating around out there, both produced in the same year: 1970. Michael Wadleigh’s Woodstock is a celebration of that unique cultural event that represented the best of the peace and love generation. The Maysles Gimme Shelter is its complete and utter opposite in almost every respect except one: an amazing soundtrack. But this time the Stones have it mostly to themselves. Capturing the 1969 free concert at Altamont Speedway, designed to be a West Coast Woodstock and boost the bands image, the show instead turned into a PR nightmare when the Hell’s Angels employed as security pummeled people in the crowd and wound up killing one person in attendance. The Maysles’ camera caught almost everything, from the incredible performance at Madison Square Garden a few days earlier, to the out-of-control actions of the bikers during the infamous San Francisco show. But the film is more than an unbiased document of events. The Maysles invited the Mick Jagger and Stone’s drummer Charlie Watts to watch the footage in question, and their filmed reactions are almost as memorable as the pictures themselves. Criterion’s new Blu-ray edition is unquestionably a must buy, with a new hi-def transfer, commentary, extra performance, audio excerpts from the post-show radio program plus an incredible set of liner notes. MY BLOODY VALENTINE - Canada is the butt of a lot of jokes these days. But when it comes to slasher films of the 1980s we share a common bond. Yes, their “teenagers” in jeopardy are actually middle-aged coal miners with accents thicker than a slab of backbacon. But do they not bleed when gutted by a pickaxe? Do they not scream when thrown down a mineshaft or trapped in a dryer on high heat? Of course, they do. They just sound funny doing it. And that’s what makes “Valentine” so darn enjoyable – it’s an earnest slasher clone made at a time when audiences still took this stuff seriously, so well-versed in the serial killer rules it could have served as the guidebook for takeoffs like “Scream” and “Scary Movie.” Valentine Bluffs is a quiet Canadian dump of a town getting ready to throw its first Valentine’s Day dance in over 20 years. But a madmen dressed up in a miner’s outfit (gas mask, pick-axe, flashlight helmet, the whole bit) is taking out the general population one by one, sending authorities candy boxes filled with human hearts with threatening third grade poetry like, “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’d cancel the dance if I were you!” Quicker than you can drink a six pack of Moosehead, the dance is off. But some crazy kids decide to throw a party down in the mine – easy pickings for a serial killer with time on his hands and a light on his helmet. Liongate’s new Blu-ray includes all the gore stripped from the movie by the MPAA at the time of it’s release plus a well-produced documentary Bloodlust: The Rise of the Slasher Film. Like the auto industry, Italian imports on DVD have fallen on hard times lately. What was once a steady stream of giallos, sword & sandals pics and sex comedies has now slowed to a ridiculous trickle of releases. It seems the only company still interested in providing addicts their fix of Spaghetti westerns and such is MYA Communication. Their latest batch has a little bit of everything, from zombies to disco numbers, but suffers from some rather poor transfers. GRAVEYARD DISTURBANCE comes from director Lamberto Bava (son of Mario) and involves a group of teens trapped beneath the catacombs of a mysterious cemetery. Heavy on atmosphere and production design (it’s obvious Lamberto learned a few lessons from dear ‘ol Dad) but lacking in any real threat or menace, the film feels like a Halloween TV special in terms of scares. But, boy, is it pretty to look at! LUCIFERA: DEMONLOVER comes from the Roger Corman school of filmmaking: dream up a good title and you’re halfway there! The film, of course, can’t live up to its billing and takes a rather timid approach, avoiding most of the inherent exploitation elements except for a quick, confusing nudie sequence in a convenient cave. FAMILY SCANDAL veers away from the horror genre and introduces us to Isabella (Martine Brochard, who posed for the Italian Playboy), a wayward teen mixed up with gangsters who dreams of making it as a go-go dancer. And she gets her big chance during the “Miss Teenager” pageant, bouncing around naked while her partner does the worst robot dance ever. This sequence alone is worth is worth sitting through the awful video transfer. And finally EVIL FACE stars the legendary Klaus Kinski as a Victorian doctor stealing the skin of unsuspecting beauties to repair the disfigured face of his wife. A low-rent gothic that mixes Hammer-style with splatter effects (designed by Carlo Rambaldi...the guy who made E.T.), the film wouldn’t be much without Kinski who, although he pretty much walks through the role, brings more menace than any special effect. Evil Face is also transferred, quite obviously from a video source, but is mostly acceptable viewing and includes a poster gallery.