loose screws

As I child of the ‘80s I can tell you from experience that you had to work pret-ty darn hard to get a look at naked ladies. Before the corruption of the world wide web, curious kids only had a few magazines (always placed strategically out of reach or covered by those damn brown bags!) and scrambled cable channels to peruse after hours. Loose Screws: Screwballs 2 was one of those Porky’s clones you tried to catch a glimpse of after Mom and Dad went to bed. And, man, does it deliver the raunchy goods! As a direct sequel to Screwballs (which was more parody that soft-core copycat) the same horny foursome are sent to summer school where they bet bragging rights on who can catch a glimpse of the hot French teacher, Miss Mona Lott, in the buff. Miss Mona stays clothed until the end, but every other female student is definitely clothing-impaired. Made up of one raunchy sketch after another, Loose Screws is a near constant barrage of nudity and crudity with a script that wouldn’t even cut it at Penthouse Forum. But the funny thing is, the film, which seemed so sinfully naughty back then, is now laughable in its attempt to titillate. When the kids all get together for a choreographed dance called “The Screw” and celebrate their anti-establishment victory by dressing up like Devo, the ‘80s flashback is enough to leave you sore for a week. Severin Films (who’ve been quite for too long now) present the theatrical 77-minute cut and the 10-minute longer international version in “VHS-Vision”…meaning it came from someone’s personal collection. Also check out the filmmaker interviews and commentary with director Rafal Zielinski.

Speaking of Skinemax, as anyone who has scanned an episode Co-Ed Confidential or Sin City Diaries can tell you, there’s a disturbing lack of subtlety involved it today’s erotica. It’s all sex with no seduction; a formula that replicates the fast-food culture to which we’ve become addicted. Even our porn comes in pre-packaged portions! It’s enough to make a film like Joy (1983), based on the erotic novel by supermodel Joy Laurey, seem like high art. And, in fact, director Sergio Bergonzelli has an eye for landscapes of all sorts, composing some striking travelogue shots of Mexico, Paris and Montreal while documenting the scenery of his female lead, Claudia Udy, with an equal amount of (mostly) tasteful enthusiasm. Obviously inspired by the international success of Emmanuelle, Begonzelli’s film is of a similar high-class, soft-core sort, highlighted by the incredible natural physique of Udy, who seems game to go places other Euro-porn starlets would not. The plot, autobiographical though it may be, is a sublime example of ‘80s excess and self-centered masochism. Joy eventually discovers that being a skank isn’t in her best interest…which is more than you can say for the surgically-enhanced bimbos at Beverly Hills Bordello. Severin Films’ transfer of Joy and its less impressive sequel, Joy & Joan, is near HD resolution and includes an interview with the now 50-year-old Udy, who embraces her past as an invaluable learning experience. Heck, even her Dad gave it his stamp of approval!