zero boys

The first trick to breaking into the movie business is getting people's attention. And as every toddler knows, any attention will do...even the bad kind. In fact, getting your movie banned is a sure-fire way to quick notoriety. Director Nico Mastorakis' Island of Death (1976) followed in the footsteps of video nasties like Texas Chainsaw and Last House on the Left, earning a firm thumbs down from several countries. And quite honestly, it deserved it; consisting of nothing but crude shock tactics (a goat gets raped by the male lead right after the opening credits roll) and uninspired violence.

But the film got Mastorakis' career rolling (he was already a well-known TV personality and promoter in his native Greece) and kept him busy for nearly two decades producing mostly low-budget thrillers and two-fisted fare, two of which are now being released on Blu-ray from Arrow Video: a late-to-the-party slasher, The Zero Boys (1986), and a Commando-era copycat actioner, Hired to Kill (1990).

Adding a bit of "paintball fever" into the masked killer formula, The Zero Boys is really just a slight deviation from the usual "cabin in the woods" scenario, with a trio of weekend warriors-types bringing their gal pals out for a camping trip only to run afoul of a family of unexplained serial killers. Aren't most serial killers unexplained, you ask? Yes, but Mastorakis doesn't even bother attempting to justify all the carnage; it's simply a gag to pit our heroes phony survival skills to the test, with the bad guys about as identifiable as a cardboard target (although Joe Estevez gets an amusing bit of face time).

What's surprising is how slick it all looks, with a prowling steadicam, effective lighting and a retro-kitsch musical score (from future Oscar winner Hans Zimmer). It might be derivative, but it's still a predictable good time. Kelli Maroney (Night of the Comet) makes for an unconventionally appealing final girl, while the rest of the cast gets by on their semi-pro status. The Zero Boys is rarely ever mentioned in slasher circles, but that's to its advantage. It's like blowing the dust of a VHS that slipped behind the horror shelf.

Hired to Kill is up against some stiffer competition. Designed as a variation on the Schwarzenegger action vehicle, Mastorakis gets a lot of mileage out of the exotic setting and old-school villain (Oliver Reed), but Brian Thompson struggles as the rough-n-tumble leader of a female "dirty dozen" hired to liberate a political prisoner and kickstart a revolution. Thompson (probably best known as the Alien Bounty Hunter on a string of X-Files episodes) has the muscles, but lacks even the quirky VanDamme charisma the role needs.

Which perhaps explains why the film surrounds him with a Fox Force Five team of kick-ass women recruited from every corner of the globe. There's the cigar chomping expert in demolitions, the ex-Israeli hired gun, the glamorous former CIA agent; all working undercover as professional swimsuit models. The description is a bit more amusing than the final results, but Hired to Kill isn't the sort of movie for discriminating tastes. Like most second or third tier action fare from the '90s, it's cinematic background noise perfect for a lazy Sunday afternoon.

Each film has been released separately as a Blu-ray / DVD combo and comes with a laundry list of extras. The Zero Boys sports an incredible looking 2K restoration and includes interview with stars Kelli Maroney and Nicole Rio, another with director Nico Mastorakis, audio commentary (with Maroney again), still gallery and theatrical trailer. Hard To Kill also features a transfer that's hard to top. Extras on that one include another Mastorakis interview, another with Brian Thompson, audio commentary, trailer, still and the original screenplay on DVD-ROM.