A.P.E.

There are those who insist life is too short to watch bad movies. In that case, they should stay far away from A.P.E., director Paul Leder's ultra-low budget King Kong knock-off that feels interminable despite running only 87 minutes. That's because the film, allegedly produced for a under $25,000, is padded with so many one-sided telephone calls, parading army vehicles and fleeing Koreans that the big gorilla himself (an actor wearing the least convincing costume available at Party City) hardly gets much screen time. But when he does, at least it's in glorious 3D!

Arriving in Seoul to film her latest role, famous American actress Marilyn Baker (Joanna Kerns - from Growing Pains) winds up being the object of the 36-foot ape's affections as he scampers cross country stomping on as many buildings as the budget allows. Her boyfriend and the Korean police remain in pursuit while an American Colonel (Alex Nicol) shouts orders into his phone from the comfort of a bland wood-paneled office...a location that will become all-too familiar quite quickly.

A.P.E. is inept from the get-go, beginning with a monkey versus shark battle (the same one promised on the theatrical poster) that sets the bar so low the rest of the film is actually an improvement...if not quite so entertaining. Minus the 3D gimmick, Leder's film is a terrible bore. An obvious attempt to cash-in on the Dino DeLaurentis remake of the same year - some bits of dialogue stage things as a sequel - the tone is never consistently goofy enough to pass as a comedy (as John Landis' Schlock, also from producer Jack H. Harris, did in 1973). So instead of consistent laughs, you're just confused about what the film is trying to be.

Which is nothing more than a dime-store 3D spectacular. And if you have the right home set-up, prepare for a barrage of "in your face" gags involving pool cues, rifles, boulders and rubber snakes. Leder sets up some nice gorilla-in-the-foreground perspective shots that work as well as anything else in the format. Of course, there are also plenty of visible wires, split seams and continuity errors, but A.P.E. (whose acronym title was apparently a play on M.A.S.H....since they're both set in Korea) isn't the sort of movie you walk into expecting quality. Bad films have their own particular grading scale. And A.P.E. sets the curve.

Restored by the 3D Film Archive, A.P.E. probably didn't deserve the attention, but it gets a spiffy Blu-ray release courtesy of Kino Lorber anyway. The image itself is still a bit scratched and faded, often looking like the "instant photo" filter on your iPhone, but likely all flaws in the original production. Extras include a trailer gallery and an overly-casual audio commentary from former Fangoria editor Chris Alexander, who's later replaced by historian Hillary Hess.