Movieline Online

There should be an entirely different set of criteria used to judge children’s films. One fart joke you can ignore. Two fart jokes is becoming slightly odious. And three or more is just pandering to the pre-pubescent crowd that probably has their fingers up their collective noses. “The Santa Clause 2” takes the high road for most family fare, mixing some grown-up punchlines with all the expected childish hijinks. And only one reindeer passing gas. Tim Allen reprises his role as Santa from the previous film, now faced with finding a wife before Christmas Eve or losing all his magical powers. The elves make a duplicate Santa to run things at the North Pole while the real big guy enters the singles scene. But things get ugly when the replacement turns into a plastic Mussolini, putting every kid in the world on the naughty list. Meanwhile, Santa falls for his teenage son’s Scrooge-like principal and gets stuck in the middle of a family crisis. That’s a lot of whole lot of trouble stuffed i...

THE FLICK: Comedy is tough. Horror-comedy is even tougher. And a film like “Return of the Living Dead” has the odds stacked against it before the credits even roll. Maybe that’s why writer/director Dan O’Bannon (“Alien,” “Darkstar”) lets the audience get a taste of what’s to come with a pre-credit set-up that lays down the ground rules – George Romero’s zombie films were based on a true story, which was covered up by the government. Most of the remaining “undead” were bottled up like toxic waste and shipped to a secure location, but a few were accidentally routed to the Uneeda Medical Supply Company in Louisville, Kentucky. That’s where two bumbling warehouse workers turn them loose and contaminate the graveyard next door with reanimating gas, setting the stage for a zombie apocalypse! The script sounds like total cheese, but O’Bannon molds it into a colorful tribute to E.C Comics, with equal parts gross out effects and wink-wink-nudge-nudge horror humor. Where later films like “Evil D...

THE FLICK: Some might call “My Bloody Valentine” a hopelessly inept Canadian slasher movie – heck, the government even funded production as they did on David Cronenberg’s early exploitation shockers. But are Canadian’s really so different from the rest of us? So their “teenagers” in jeopardy are middle-aged coal miners with accents thicker than a slab of backbacon. Do they not bleed when gutted by a pickaxe? Do they not scream when thrown down a mineshaft or trapped in a dryer on high heat? Of course, they do. They just sound funny doing it. And that’s what makes “Valentine” so darn enjoyable – it’s an earnest slasher clone made at a time when audiences still took this stuff seriously, so well-versed in the serial killer rules it could have served as the guidebook for takeoffs like “Scream” and “Scary Movie.” Valentine Bluffs (wink, wink) is a quiet Canadian dump of a town getting ready to throw its first Valentine’s Day dance in over 20 years. But a madmen dressed up in a miner’s outf...

THE FLICK: While an appreciation for Judy Garland has become the butt of one-joke sitcoms like ÒWill & Grace,Ó her talent remains unsullied by all the drag queens and closeted metrosexuals that have come since. And thereÕs no better showcase than ÒMeet Me In St. Louis,Ó an unapologetic ode to turn-of-the-century Americana directed by GarlandÕs soon-to-be-husband, Vincent Minelli, a master of the musical form. When the Smith family faces an impending move from their beloved city of St. Louis to New York (just before the 1904 WorldÕs Fair, mind you), the news hits everyone hard, particularly Esther (Garland), a young woman in the midst of her first teenage crush, and Tootie (Margaret OÕBrien, who won a special Oscar for the role), whose mental state was never that stable to begin with! The ins and outs, ups and downs, through all the seasons of the year leading up this tragic event are told through some of the most memorable songs ever put to music (ÒHave Yourself A Merry Little Chri...