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Mainstream movies almost always fall into one category or another. Surprisingly enough, the same holds true for foreign films as well. Enzo Castellari’s Cold Eyes of Fear (1971) starts off as a giallo (translation: sleazy, murder mystery), turns into a home invasion scenario only to flip genres yet again before the finale to become a political thriller. Best known for his straight-up action imports like the original Inglorious Bastards , Castellari isn’t content to let his film gather moss. Rather he constantly reinvents a new category to keep the audience on their toes. And, damn if it doesn’t work. Peter Flower (Gianni Garko) is a playboy attorney living it up in swinging London. His latest conquest is a dark-haired Italian beauty (Giovanna Ralli) who he takes back to his rich uncle’s home. Waiting inside (along with the body of a dead servant) is a nasty criminal type whose intentions aren’t quite clear but insists that no one leaves until his plan comes to its deadly frui...

Everyone behind Crimewave (1985) - from the actors to the executives to the Detroit teamsters who built the sets - is only too eager to tell you what a complete and utter failure it is. And in some respects, they’re right. But without Sam Raimi’s mismanaged follow-up to The Evil Dead , co-written by Joel and Ethan Coen (yes, that Joel and Ethan Coen) and co-starring Bruce Campbell, none of the talent behind the camera would be the creative force they are today. Not only did the experience give them a taste of just how nasty Hollywood could be, it’s a showcase for the sort of unhinged creative ambitions that most filmmaker’s are never allowed to dabble in. And as such, it’s a fascinating piece of show-off moviemaking that sows the seeds of what Raimi and the Coens would soon become. A screwball comedy that plays like a combination of the Coen’s Blood Simple and Raising Arizona (with more than a little Stooges thrown in for good measure), the movie follows the exploits of mild-man...

Despite their dominance in today’s movie theaters, Marvel Comics’ superheroes were once nothing more than a poor, pathetic lot of failed TV pilots and low-budget direct-to-video adaptations. Lou Ferrigno’s mop-topped version of The Hulk was the only thing happening for the company until Bryan Singer’s original X-Men (2000) proved that Marvel’s formula of mutant powers, social issues and complicated personal relationships could actually translate well onscreen. Up until that point, fans suffered through things like 1990’s Captain America . This wasn’t Cap’s first trip to the screen. And it’s not even his worst . Besides an early adaptation in the ‘40s, he was crammed into a pair of ill-fitting tights and forced to embarrass himself in the late ‘70s in a series of terrible TV movies. By comparison, this adaptation by director Albert Pyun ( The Sword and the Sorcerer, Cyborg ) is actually fairly classy. But it’s faced with the same challenge The First Avenger (2011) ran into: ho...

Clint Eastwood’s squint in Sergio Leone’s Dollars trilogy established him as superstar. But Lee Van Cleef, a prolific character actor who spent most of the ‘50s and ‘60s appearing on one TV show after another (seriously, his IMDB resume looks like a substitute teacher’s schedule), enjoyed a career resurgence just by association. After playing opposite the Man With No Name in For a Few Dollars More and The Good, The Bad and The Ugly , Van Cleef became a hot commodity among European producers who wanted a bit of that Leone mojo…but on a budget they could afford. The Grand Duel (1972) doesn’t offer the actor much of a stretch performance-wise – his character’s clothes, dialogue and demeanor are much the same as Angel Eyes from Good, Bad & Ugly – but a nifty role reversal casts him as sage gunslinger helping an outlaw framed for murder to clear his family name. The script (by mystery specialist Ernesto Gastaldi) lifts more than a few elements from Once Upon a Time in the West ...

Wine pairings are all the rage these days. Almost every upscale restaurant has a special night where you can discover how a Pinot Noir complements a roast duck or a Sauvignon Blanc brings out the flavor in some red snapper. But the most nagging question remains: what type of wine goes best with zombies ? The Grapes of Death (1978) doesn’t answer the question directly, but it does place the blame for the zombie apocalypse squarely on the shoulders of an isolated French vineyard whose chemical pesticides have seeped into the local supply of vino. The mass consumption causes local villagers to begin to rot inside and out, turning them into sickly, seeping maniacs. Our heroine, Elisabeth, is attacked on a train by a field hand and escapes into the countryside, only to find one infected town after another. Directed by Jean Rollin – better known for his dreamy, erotic, Euro-vampire movies, The Grapes of Death is without a doubt his most accessible film. Probably because he’s work...

Pardon the redundancy, but it seems almost impossible that The Impossible didn’t garner more attention when it was released last December. Of course there was Naomi Watts’ Oscar nomination for Best Actress, which she likely would have won if not for Jennifer Lawrence. But with an award-friendly true story to lean on and some of the most incredibly realistic water-borne stunts and effects ever created on film, one is still left a little mystified as to why audiences didn’t respond. Perhaps the memory of the actual tragedy in Thailand is still too fresh in people’s minds to suffer through such an intense retelling. And director Juan Antonio Bayona’s film certainly puts you through the emotional wringer. Recreating the events that took place during the 2004 tsunami, The Impossible follows one British family as the catastrophe strikes their seaside vacation resort. Watts portrays the strong-willed mother of three boys –one rebellious pre-teen and his two younger siblings. Ewan Mc...

Never underestimate the power of nostalgia. From movies and TV shows to Facebook reunions with high-school hook-ups, the associative power of time and place in our emotionally immature brain is an awfully attractive force 15 or 20 years down the line. And although it’s hard to imagine the next generation watching Jersey Shore with fond memories, trust me, it’s gonna happen. Besides, it’s no more ridiculous than one’s affection for Johnny Sokko and his Flying Robot (1969), a Japanese TV series that combines Godzilla- inspired monsters with kid-friendly espionage escapades. Built off the success of Ultraman (1967) -produced by the effects man responsible for Godzilla and his menagerie of monster pals - Johnny Sokko was based on the work of manga artist Mitsuteru Yokoyama. Not exactly a household name in America. But American International Pictures was smart enough to see that the gimmick of a young boy who can control a 50-story robot to fight off alien invaders would likely hav...

Like oldies radio stations, the popularity of Hammer horror films seem to be drifting out of favor as a new generation redefines what is to be considered “classic.” Just ask around; the ‘80s are now thought of as mainstream horror’s hey-day, the ‘70s are certifiably old, and anything beyond that is downright ancient. Don’t even bring up the black-and-white argument unless you want to lose all faith in the future of humanity. So it’s ironic that the latest Hammer to see the light of day on blu-ray was itself representative of the company’s desperate attempt to keep up with the changing times. The Vampire Lovers (1970) is an adaptation of the erotic vampire novella Carmilla by Sheridan Le Fanu. Despite being the first Hammer production to feature bare breasts and some lesbian interludes, it was a natural progression for the company, whose leading ladies were often in just as much jeopardy of a nip-slip as being drained of blood. The nudity here is about as tawdry as a National ...

Is there any metropolis more cinematic than NYC in the ‘70s? Grungy, dangerous and lit with a sick fluorescent glow, it seems possible to catch an STD just by standing too close to the screen. That’s the kind of New York on display in Massage Parlor Murders (1974), a rather inept serial killer story that shares a few plot points with David Fincher’s Seven yet barely delivers enough sex and violence to raise an eyebrow on network TV…let alone 42nd street. A pair of laconic cops are out to stop a killer who targets the female employees of some of New York’s seediest massage parlors, seemingly striking at random and dispatching his victims with a unique method each time. Unless they can figure out the murderer’s MO, there will be no “happy endings” for anyone this time around. Beyond the gritty postcard view of NYC circa 1974 (watch for some great movie title up on the marquees), Massage Parlor Murders doesn’t have much to offer anyone outside of exploitation film collectors. For...

The appeal of prison movies is easy to write off as some sort of testosterone-huffing time-waster with little cinematic or artistic merit. After all Jean-Claude Van Damme got sent up the river twice (in Death Warrant and In Hell ) and came out a worse actor than when he went in. But at their best, prison movies represent something more than sweaty pecs and a slow-motion roundhouse kick. Movies like Papillion and The Shawshank Redemption are about the triumph of the human spirit. And both of them owe a huge spiritual debt to director Robert Bresson’s A Man Escaped (1956), a prison movie that keeps its audience caged as well. Based on the true story of Andre Devigny who escaped from Fort Montlue prison in German-occupied Lyon, France, in 1943, Bresson’s film is as meticulous in construction as its central character’s methodical attempts at freedom. Most notably, the film’s creative use of sound - both by necessity and design – limits the viewers’ sensory input to footsteps, ke...

Horror movies were so much scarier before caller ID; not to mention cell phones, Wi-Fi and every other invention that allows potential victims to contact the authorities before some maniac hacks them to pieces. Who could have guessed that modern technology would mean the death of serial killers as we knew them? It makes a movie like When A Stranger Calls (1979) seem positively Amish in terms of the killer’s techniques in stalking his prey. Expanded into a feature-length film from his own short, director Fred Walton begins with the well-known urban legend about a babysitter receiving prank calls from a menacing voice asking, “Have you checked the children?” (Stop reading now if you haven’t heard this one before.) When the police finally trace the line, it’s revealed the calls are actually coming from inside the house ! It’s a doozy of an intro and really stands on it’s own as a thrilling piece of filmmaking. But When A Stranger Calls is so much more than that first 20 minutes....

By now, it seems most people are born with an inherent understanding of the slasher film formula. Although I’m sure medical professionals would disagree, my theory is the information passes via embryonic osmosis like nicotine or alcohol. How else can you explain the beat for beat reconstruction of Halloween 2 - a movie made in the USA in 1981 - by filmmakers in Norway nearly 30 years later? Face it; Michael Myers is stalking us even in the womb! Actually, the folks behind Cold Prey 2 (2008) are following up their first success from 2006. The original Cold Prey followed every cliché in the book, but still managed to be a solid, scary, suspenseful import that introduced us to an abominable snow-slasher picking off a group of snowboarders who stumble into his abandoned hotel. While it doesn’t have much name recognition here in the States, it was a huge success in its native Norway, kicking off an avalanche of imitators. And it’s essential viewing before popping in Cold Prey 2 , w...

While directors Sam Raimi and Peter Jackson both managed to turn early horror movie careers into mega-budgeted tentpole franchisees ( Spiderman and Lord of the Rings respectively), that success somehow eluded Don Coscarelli. The creator of Phantasm (1979) pioneered the same sort of street level auteurism, whipping together a horror / sci-fi / psychedelic fantasy on a shoestring budget that maintains a huge cult following. Yet other than a minor breakthrough with The Beastmaster (1982) – a basic cable mainstay for nearly a decade on TBS and TNT – Coscarelli has never managed to crack the “A”-list like so many of his fellow horror alumni. And the release of Phantasm 2 (1988) on blu-ray only deepens the mystery as to why not . First, a quick recap of the original, which is pretty much required viewing. After the death of his parents, a boy becomes suspicious of the local caretaker who he nicknames the Tall Man. A late-night inspection of the mausoleum reveals an army of vicious...

Steven Spielberg owned the ‘80s. Even the films he didn’t produce or direct went out of their way to have a Spielberg feel, most of them bargain basement adventures appealing to 10-year-olds wandering the mall with their parents’ money. Timerider: The Adventure of Lyle Swann sends an off-road motorcyclist back in time to 1877 where he runs rings around a gang of Wild West outlaws. Trust me, in 1982 that was enough to convince most kids to fork over a five-spot. In 2013, it’s a bit of a harder sell. Produced by former Monkee Michael Nesmith, Timerider is awfully amateurish for a major motion picture. The first act seems to be entirely made up of motorcycle POV shots, as if we were watching an amusement park simulation ride rather than a movie. Eventually, after driving through a scientific test area, Swann is zapped back into the past and faced with a trio of bad guys who want his “riding machine” for themselves. There’s a good idea at work here; one that Robert Zemeckis tur...

It’s rare that I’d recommend watching a blu-ray’s extras before watching the actual movie, but in the case of Zulu Dawn , a 1979 epic re-telling of the British army’s defeat at the hands (or, more accurately, the spears ) of 25,000 Zulu tribesmen, there’s something to be said for knowing a bit of backstory first. A prequel to the well-received but nearly forgotten 1964 film Zulu , which gave Michael Caine his first starring role, Zulu Dawn simply makes too much of an assumption that today’s audiences will be familiar with Battle of Isandlwana. Luckily, Severin’s blu-ray contains a number of special features to help fill you in beforehand, including a History of the Zulu Wars , comments from the film’s historical advisor and a visit to the actual battlefield where tactical errors and British arrogance wound up costing 1500 enlisted men their lives. As for the movie itself, it’s the sort of monumental all-star war film that really didn’t exist anymore in 1979. While most old Hollyw...

Three years after the massacre at Westworld, the most advanced amusement park in the world is set to re-open with a splashy new attraction. But is history doomed to repeat itself? Futureworld (1976) stars Peter Fonda and Blythe Danner (Gwneyth Paltrow’s mom) as a pair of Woodward and Bernstein-type reporters invited to the grand re-opening to ensure that the facility is safe and trouble-free – much like Sam Neil and company in the first Jurassic Park . Only instead of rampaging dinosaurs, our heroes uncover a robotic conspiracy to replace all the world’s leaders in a bid for global domination. Or something to that effect. Actually, the motives behind Delos, the company in question, are a little vague. They have the technology to create perfect human replicas this time around, not just robotic gunslingers and sex slaves; an improvement upon the android assembly lines in Michael Crichton’s original Westworld (1973). But the sequel drops much of the satirical edge in favor of a ...

With the annual “art vs. entertainment” argument in full swing thanks to the Oscars, there’s probably no better time to explore the cultural schism between critics and the average moviegoer - not the least of which is the use of words like cultural schism and referring to the guy sitting next to you as average . It’s not that critics are a more highly evolved species of man (although I’m sure several believe that to be so) which demands they champion the obscure over the inclusive, the low-budget indie over the blockbuster. It’s just a natural evolution of watching so many variations on the same formula, so many explosions, so many romantic misunderstandings, so many parties gone wrong, so many remakes, so many reboots and so many re-imaginings. I don’t even think that last one is really a word. This isn’t a cry for sympathy, but maybe for understanding. At least it will help explain why critics would champion a film like Holy Motors , a chaotic yet sublimely introspective, barel...

Although the modern gut-munching zombie is undoubtedly made-in-America, European producers were much quicker to cash in on the living dead. Romero’s first film ( Night of the Living Dead ) produced a few imitators like 1974’s The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue , which played up the gore for international audiences. But it was 1978’s Dawn of the Dead , Romero’s sequel co-produced with Italian horror impresario Dario Argento that opened the undead floodgates overseas. Needless to say, most of them were terrible. But few are as deliciously bad as Zombie Lake (1980). Directed by exploitation artist Jean Rollin after original director, Jess Franco, failed to turn up on the first day of shooting, there is so little cinematic skill on display in every department (acting, directing, make-up, probably even craft services) that it coalesces into one of the most enjoyable “bad movie” experiences ever made. After a troop of dead Nazis are dumped unceremoniously into a local French lake, th...

Scrolling through Viggo Mortensen’s acting resume on IMDB, one is reminded of all the work it takes to become a “name” actor. The bottom line? You need a lot of talent and even more luck. Before The Lord of the Rings franchise, Viggo slugged his way through 36 roles in minor (and a few major) films. But he actually had his first lead role way back in 1988 playing a nearly mute – but undeniably cool - convict in Prison , a slick horror vehicle directed by Renny Harlin who would move on to the big-time two years later with Die Hard 2 …and leave Viggo in the dust. A collaboration between cheapie-horror producer Charles Band and independent big-shot Irwin Yablans ( Halloween 4, 5 and 6 ), Prison seems to exist for one reason only: up until that point there had never been a horror movie set inside a penitentiary. That gimmick seemed enough to greenlight a confused script that involves a previously executed prisoner whose spirit seeks revenge against the mentally unbalanced warden (...

The adage “You can’t intentionally create a cult movie” is still true, by and large. Original midnight movies like Rocky Horror and Eraserhead were financial flops that found an audience almost by accident. Attempting to recreate that sort of “accidental success” takes away most of the magic, leaving an unpleasant manufactured aftertaste. That certainly doesn’t stop people from trying, though. Producer Charles Band – founder of Empire Pictures and later Full Moon Entertainment – churned out dozens of cheap, fast and quirky pictures that crowded video shelves in the ‘80s. Reanimator (1985) was his biggest hit. By comparison, TerrorVision was a colossal failure. A strange set-bound production about a mutant alien “pet” that is accidently beamed into a family’s new satellite dish and proceeds to devour everyone in sight, TerrorVision looks like the illegitimate love-child of Tim Burton and John Waters. Actually, it was directed by long-time Band collaborator Ted Nicolaou, wh...

Love them or hate them, SyFy Channel creature features have become a genre unto themselves: cheesy monsters, bad acting, and a title so ridiculous that you simply have to check it out for a few minutes…or ten…OK, I’m definitely turning the channel after the next commercial! But the formula is nothing new. Roger Corman has been churning out quickie monster movies for more than half a century and continues to do so for SyFy from time to time. In fact, he never stopped, as proven by Scream Factory’s blu-ray / DVD combo-pack release of The Nest (1988) about a sleepy island community under attack by genetically engineered roaches. Released through Corman’s Concorde Pictures and produced by his wife, Julie Corman, The Nest is a holdover from ‘70s Jaws rip-offs like Joe Dante’s Piranha - also produced by Corman - but with an insect angle. Oddly enough, only two years later, the Steven Spielberg produced Arachnophobia would make the connection even more obvious. But this time...

He might not be the most talented, most original or most influential horror director, but Wes Craven has certainly proven to be the most durable. From The Last House on the Left (1972) to A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) to the Scream franchise (1996 – 2011), Craven has left his mark on four decades of film history. In a genre that screams for new blood every ten years or so, that’s an eternity. And he’s done it in workmanlike fashion, adapting his style to whatever best fits the story whether that be a high-profile thriller or a low-budget TV movie. By his own admission, Deadly Blessing (1981) served as Craven’s introduction to Hollywood filmmaking: the first time working in 35mm, shooting on sets, and dealing with producer’s demands. The film itself is rather lacking in style, shot with a “movie-of-the-week” detachment that is miles away from the gritty exploitation that Craven was known for at the time. Today, it’s likely best known for supplying Sharon Stone with her firs...

Even cult film aficionados (we meet at Taco Bell every Friday if you’re interested) could be excused for asking, “Who the hell is Pete Walker and why does he have his own collection ?” The name doesn’t have the same buzz factor as Romero, Argento or even Ed Wood. But that’s part of what makes the horror genre so damn interesting: there’s always some cult clique that’s ripe for rediscovery and, potentially, a new addition to one’s collection. In the case of Pete Walker, a British director who worked the seedier side cinema during the ‘70s, this might be his first cordial introduction to North American audiences outside of a VHS box. After giving Jean Rollin and Mario Bava their time in the sun, Kino’s Redemption label includes four films from the-lesser known Walker as part of their four-disc Blu-ray Pete Walker Collection . And things start strong with House of Whipcord (1974), a strange amalgamation of torture porn, gothic mystery and women’s prison film. Yet despite those exp...

While early Japanese films from serious-minded directors such as Ozu and Kurosawa won worldwide accolades from critics, often those “artistic” adventures were bought and paid for by money earned the old-fashioned way: genre movies. Horror, fantasy and science fiction were a big international market. And Japanese studios discovered that their product translated well to the burgeoning drive-in crowd of the ‘50s and ‘60s. Of course, Godzilla and his oversized friends are the most recognizable export, but the new Eclipse set – When Horror Came to Shochiku – unearths a few more sci-fi shockers that have been all but impossible to find. By the late ‘60s, Shochiku was desperate to get a piece of the action rival studios Toho and Daiei were enjoying. The most obvious route was to stick a guy in a suit and let him smash things! The X from Outer Space (1967) is almost pre-packaged for mockery. The monster – Guilala – is space chicken hatched from a smuggled spore that grows into a mech...

Thanks to the auteur theory, it’s de rigueur to put a director’s name in from of a film’s title. But really only a handful of filmmakers actually earn the distinction. In the case of Terry Gilliam’s Brazil , eventually released by Universal studios in 1985, he went to war to ensure the version movie that found its way in North American theaters was worthy of bearing his name. That behind the scenes story – detailed in the hour-long documentary Battle of Brazil – is one reason to pick up Criterion’s new blu-ray package. But ultimately it’s the opportunity to view Gilliam’s version of the film in gorgeous hi-def that makes the case for buying yet another version of the eccentric director’s masterpiece. Under the thumb of his mother, his employer and overwhelming government bureaucracy, Sam Lowry (Jonathan Pryce) escapes his dreary existence with dreams of heroic fantasies where he slays monsters, rescues princesses and flies into the sunset. His reality is a cluttered nightmare...

Before he reinvigorated Universal Studios’ with his action-adventure take on The Mummy in 1999 (and proved a flick could open big before the official summer movie season), director Stephen Sommers did a dry run with the underappreciated Deep Rising , a tongue-in-cheek giant monster movie about a cruise ship under attack by an oversized squid. With obvious references to Ray Harryhausen stop-motion classics combined with a screwball comedy sensibility, the film established a formula that served the director well…until the well ran dry on Van Helsing . Still, there’s some appeal to this kitchen-sink creature feature that stars Treat Williams as an Indiana Jones-style mercenary who gets stuck on the ship with some bad guys with guns. But all the bullets in the world can’t stop the tangle of tentacles that seem to have dragged every living passenger to their doom…except for Famke Janssen ( X-Men ) who makes for a lovely and lively comic foil. The CG effects were supervised by stop-mot...

The beautiful thing about horror and science-fiction is it allows filmmakers to make a “message” movie without being so blatant about it. Movies like Invasion of the Body Snatchers or Dawn of the Dead bury their agendas in subtext that doesn’t interfere with the surface level enjoyment of the genre. But They Live actually disposes with the subtext entirely and puts its political commentary front and center. Sure, there’s some gunplay, aliens and one wicked mano y mano brawl, but mostly this is director John Carpenter’s condemnation of Reagan-era consumerism disguised as an action movie starring ex-wrestler “Rowdy” Roddy Piper. A good-natured drifter (Piper) stumbles upon a group of guerilla fighters operating out of a homeless shelter. Their goal? Wake up the sleeping masses to the people that are really running this country: Aliens! These bug-eyed invaders have covered their tracks by hypnotizing us with TV signals and subliminal advertising. We can only see them for what...

Successful movies pull off a delicate balancing act of meeting and defying expectations. Too predictable and things get boring…too bizarre and audiences get uneasy. It’s easier to play things safe; that’s why most major motion pictures follow a pattern. But the direct-to-DVD market has a little more leeway. That’s how you get films like Airborne , which will earn very few “thumbs up” but at least doesn’t take you on the same ride you’ve paid full price for so many times before. On a late-night transcontinental flight from London to NYC filled with only ten passengers, things are getting mysterious. The flight attendants are acting squirrely, folks in coach start disappearing, and it all has something to do with an ancient Chinese vase stuck in the cargo hold. From the pictures and description on the box, one would might expect zombies or a virulent parasitic outbreak…or both. But Airborne doesn’t choose any of those options. To reveal more would ruin part of the guessing game...

Survival stories are a reliable Hollywood staple. Man against the desert. Man against the Arctic. Man against…the sauna?! That’s right, in 247º F three yahoos get themselves stuck in a steamroom thanks to a fourth yahoo who’s passed out drunk upstairs. Apparently this was based on a true story, but I don’t blame any of them for not stepping forward. It’s not the kind of accident that will earn you much sympathy. However, it does make for a surprisingly engaging movie. Four mismatched friends hook up for a good time at their uncle’s cabin. After a few beers and some skinny dipping it’s off to the custom-made sauna for some relaxation. But minutes stretch to hours when the door refuses to open. Ideas are tossed around, arguments ensue and finally panic sets in as the heat continues to rise. For a direct-to-DVD title, 247º F is way above the curve. It’s situation, while implausible at first, becomes genuinely frightening and invites viewers to play the “what would you do...

Halloween 3 spent most of the past 30 years being despised by a fanbase that simply couldn’t understand why in the name of holy hell Michael Myers wasn’t onscreen killing more teenagers. The plot concerning some sort of Celtic apocalypse involving robots, Stonehenge and Halloween masks is admittedly ridiculous. But it’s also so gloriously convoluted and preposterous that it makes the movie stand out in a field of cookie-cutter slasher sequels that pride themselves on being as un original as possible. Producer John Carpenter gambled on audiences looking for something new…and lost. The original idea was to make a different scary movie each year with the Halloween moniker. However, this wasn’t exactly clear when Universal advertised the film back in ’82. Fans responded by making it the most reviled Halloween film in the series, which got quickly back on the monotonous Michael Myers track soon afterward. Directed by Tommy Lee Wallace and shot by long-time Carpenter collaborator D...

Horror movies rely on stupid people doing stupid things. And you can’t get much more stupid than signing up for an “extreme tour” of the Chernobyl disaster site. Not only is the residual radiation a potential health hazard, but those rabid dogs and leftover nuclear mutants are a bitch! Produced by Oren Peli, the Paranormal Activity mastermind, at least we should be thankful that Chernobyl Diaries doesn’t use the found footage approach, opting instead for a more traditional scary story format as stupid teens and their tour guide are stranded in the radiation zone after dark. Soon, shadowy figures emerge from the rubble of the surrounding town and drag our characters to some off-screen hell. Or maybe everyone is just in the basement drinking vodka…I’m not really sure! And that’s the real problem with the film. The setting is unique, unusual and more than a little creepy (with one jump scare that’s guaranteed to do its job). But there are no ground rules laid out. We don’t kno...

Let this be a lesson to all aspiring filmmakers. After you’ve finished your low-budget horror masterpiece do not forget to add the little copyright symbol in the credits! That minor mistake cost George Romero and company the bulk of the profits from the original Night of the Living Dead , which ended up falling into public domain and filling up bargain bins for years on VHS and DVD. Obviously, losing out on all those millions must have rankled Romero to no end. So much so that in 1990 he reshot his original script (with longtime make-up vet Tom Savini behind the camera this time) for purely financial reasons. Before anyone jumps in to argue, “that’s no reason to make a film!”…actually it’s the reason pretty much every film is made. At least Romero was honest about his intentions, and, as remakes go, this new version of NOTLD is a respectable do-over with just enough new twists on the material to make it worthwhile. The set-up is the same: three men, three women and one soon...

Universal Studios is sitting on a cash cow of classic monsters and they know it; Frankenstein, The Wolf Man, Creature from the Black Lagoon, all with trademarked make-up effects just waiting to make someone a fortune. But to date, no one has found a way to crack the safe. 2004’s Van Helsing was supposed to do the trick, combining all the famous faces for one big monster mash. But when it crashed and burned at the box office, everything went back into the vault. Now we have Werewolf: The Beast Among Us , essentially a direct-to-video sequel to Van Helsing but without all the overhead costs (like expensive Australian actors). Instead Ed Quinn leads a team of monster hunters into a small European hamlet – which oddly enough seems to accept accents from any country – plagued by a string of werewolf killings. Young Daniel (Guy Wilson) volunteers to protect the town and impress his girlfriend and winds up in the thick of the furry battle. There’s nothing about Werewolf that is pa...

No offense to anyone who enjoys the films, but I consider the Saw franchise one of the crowning achievements of crap cinema. So I was all the more surprised when the director of Saw 2 – 4 , Darren Lynn Bousman, came up with the movie that actually impressed me: Mother’s Day , with Rebecca De Mornay. That was two years and three films ago (the guy is nothing if not productive). Now we have The Barrens , starring True Blood superstar Stephen Moyer as a dad trying to reconnect with his broken family during a camping excursion in the New Jersey wilderness. Don’t worry, it’s not a drama. At least, I don’t think so. Trouble is The Barrens isn’t really sure what it’s about either. There’s a third act twist that explains Moyer’s dramatic mood swings and strange hallucinations of a Jersey Devil stalking his family. But there’s a second twist that after that that makes everything even more confused than before. And how to explain the strange 5-minute cameo from Shawn Ashmore ( X-Men ...

Serial killer movies are a hard sell as “entertainment” these days unless they’re wearing a hockey mask or returning from the dead. The perpetrators of child abductions, torture and shallow graves are a little too top of mind to be much use as escapism. That’s what makes Jennifer Lynch’s Chained such a hard movie to recommend, despite being an excellent piece of filmmaking in general. Vincent D’Onofrio turns in another unforgettably transformative performance as a Bob, a slovenly cab driver (with a lisp) who drags certain female passengers to their doom at his isolated home. One passenger also brings along her 9-year-old son, who the killer chains to the wall and treats as a houseservant, forced to clean up after his murderous nocturnal activities. Yet as the boy becomes a man, Bob feels the urge to pass on his knowledge from father to son. Lynch (the daughter of famed director and all-around weirdo David Lynch) has been relatively unproductive since drawing a firestorm of criti...

The Cabin in the Woods has had more praise heaped upon it by mainstream critics than pretty much any horror film in the new millennium. Yet most of that praise is earned in the final twenty minutes of the movie - which is likely the best final twenty minutes of any post-modern horror film in history. What comes before is a whole lotta set-up and genre clichés designed to be upended by Joss Whedon ( The Avengers ) and Drew Goddard’s clever script. They’re necessary, but a bit of a slog to sit through. However in this case, patience is its own reward. Headed to an isolated cabin for a weekend of beer, sex and debauchery, four college students unwittingly awaken a family of zombies who proceed to do what zombies do best. If you want to go into Cabin “spoiler-free” then stop reading right now. (pause). Ok, for everyone else, we quickly realize that our victims are being “controlled” by a small army of government workers prodding these sacrifices towards their predetermined fate....

Directors like Mario Bava are the reason cult movie fans exist. Working under miniscule budgets with fly-by-night foreign producers who distributed the final product under a seemingly endless amount of alternative titles, often just tracking down the muddy lineage of Bava’s work is a genealogical case study unto itself. But it’s the thrill of the chase that fans enjoy most, sifting through the pseudonyms and cinematic dead-ends to unearth something truly special from a man who was 40 years ahead of his time. Well, Kino Classics has done most of the work for you in the form of The Mario Bava Collection, three titles (with more presumably to come) including one of Bava’s most notable and celebrated works: Black Sunday. The director’s most complete vision, Black Sunday (1960) was relatively uncompromised by creative interference or budget troubles, something that would wreak havoc on later productions. And the film’s gothic setting, still in favor at the time by rival filmmakers at Hammer...