timeline

THE FLICK: ItÕs been a while since director Richard Donner has gone medieval. Think back to a time before Matthew Broderick was ÒMr. Sarah Jessica ParkerÓ and was starring in the modest hit ÒLadyhawkeÓ with Michelle Pfeiffer. ItÕs been a while for author Michael Crichton, tooÉall the way back to ÒEaters of the DeadÓ (which was turned into ÒThe 13th WarriorÓ on film not so long ago). But thatÕs more experience than most filmmakers ever get with this historical sub-genre usually limited to sword-and-sorcery epics replete with cut-rate visual effects and scads of tatterdemalion extras. So ÒTimelineÓ at least has a couple of guys with experience to take the reigns. Unfortunately, the horses must have bolted somewhere in production and never circled back. The casting, the script, the editing Ð no department seems to have been on the same page. How else to you explain surfer-dude extraordinaire Paul Walker as the son of a renowned archeologist (not to mention his inexplicable crush on his dadÕs nerdy assistant)? What about the inexplicable technology that allows the group to travel back to 13th century France with nothing but easily misplaced medallions to bring them back? And for a film in which so little happens, why is it so damn long?! ThereÕs so much to fingerpoint about in ÒTimelineÓ you could put someoneÕs eye out. IÕve never read CrichtonÕs novel, but it seems like the film struggles to feature WalkerÕs relatively unimportant character while the real star of the story (and the film) is Gerard ButlerÕs ÒMarekÓ: the only history geek in the crowd actually excited to go back in time (shouldnÕt they all be drooling at the opportunity?). Of course, he promptly falls in love with a historical figure and risks screwing up the space-time continuum to save her life. Ah, love in the middle ages was so much more romantic! Looking for some bright spots? Well, Donner keeps things pretty much CG free, which means the final siege is suitably impressive with flaming arrows and catapults soaring over castle walls. And Butler (the studly second banana in several films) shows again that heÕs got the acting chops and the chest hair to be a Hollywood heartthrob. For everyone else, ÒTimelineÓ is a wasted effort. THE FEATURES: Hey, at least the extras are better than your average Òmade-for-HBOÓ fluff. The first documentary, Journey Through Timeline, is split into three parts (with a convenient Òplay allÓ feature). It begins and ends at the same point in production: Donner and crew setting up for the final shot. In between are casually edited pieces around key scenes (the exploding time-travel machine, flaming catapults, etc.), mostly revolving around DonnerÕs casual directing approach. For a man heading up a 50 million-plus production, the guy really doesnÕt seem to have a care in the world! Not truly effects breakdowns, think of these as Òslice-of-lifeÓ vignettes as actors and technicians alike go through the motions of making a movie. The next doc, The Textures of Timeline, is more tightly organized; jumping from one department to the next (wardrobe, visual effects, scoring, etc.) and letting the experts do their own talking. None of this stuff is groundbreaking, but I liked the laid-back style and absence of annoying promotional narration. Two theatrical trailers are the cherries on top. FINAL SCORE: Crichton probably spent half the book explaining the technology behind ÒfaxingÓ people into the past. The movie doesnÕt have that burden (or luxury, depending on how you look at it), and cycles through endless chase scenes like a Renaissance festival version of Òwhack-a-mole.Ó If you love ÒTimelineÓ anyway, flaws and all, then be reassured that the DVD looks and sounds terrific. But I suspect everyone involved wished this fax had been lost in transmission.