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THE FLICKS: No one is going to mistake them for classics, even within the unheralded horror genre, but the Friday films have had an undeniably huge effect on modern cinema. The successful formula of “oversexed teenagers” + “masked serial killer” was like a big cream pie in the face of critics everywhere who cringed at Jason Voorhees hockey-masked shenanigans, while less artistically-minded teens just chalked it up as cathartic Friday night foreplay. Despite their lack of real artistic merit (you can make a weak case for parts one and six), the Friday films do differ from one film to another. But like buying name brand vs. generic, you’ll really don’t notice until you try them all. Luckily, Paramount’s Friday the 13th: Ultimate DVD Collection gives you the opportunity to sample the first eight bloody escapades of Jason, his mom, and a whole chum line of camp counselors. Subtitled From Crystal Lake to Manhattan, this set does not include the more recent New Line Cinema pictures for obvio...

THE FLICK: Who could blame people for avoiding The Alamo? After a decade-long burnout of historical epics with two-bit romances crammed uncomfortably into their plot (Titanic and Peal Harbor being the most noteworthy), the very idea of another famous American tragedy being adapted to film is suspect at best – twice-tragic at worst. But this production (which bears the Imagine label but was passed over by director Ron Howard) comes through with a respectful and straightforward retelling of the last desperate hours of a few hundred trapped American soldiers, militia, civilians and two living legends (Davy Crockett and Jim Bowie) at the mercy of Mexican dictator Santa Anna and his army of thousands. Much like the holy trinity of Kirk, Spock and McCoy, the film’s spirit is divided between its three heroes – each of them flawed, but somehow complementing the other thirds. Billy Bob Thornton’s performance is equal to the best work he’s ever done, including Sling Blade. His Davy Crockett is a...

THE FLICK: It’s tough to convince “non-believers” that Dawn of the Dead is anything more than an amateurish splatter film. Of course, these are the same people that won’t watch black and white movies or anything presented with subtitles. In short, they’re morons. But if you’d like to point out the depth of their stupidity, flash a copy of Anchor Bay’s new Ultimate Edition as proof that there are people in the world who “get it.” Enough to enjoy three versions of the film (theatrical, extended and European), two whopping documentaries, three full-length commentaries, and oh-so much more behind-the-scenes info about what is universally regarding as the best zombie movie ever made. Before we go any further, the excerpt below is from the review of the previous Anchor Bay release of the theatrical edition for those not in the know. More than any of his other 1970’s behind-the-camera contemporaries, George Romero resented the label “horror film director.” And while many might find this attit...

THE SHOW: With no disrespect to the gay community, admitting one is a “Trekkie” is as close as a straight person can get to coming out of the closet. There’s the shock and denial from various family members, the break-up of any “normal” romantic relationships, and the complete immersion into a subculture of society fighting for acceptance despite being dressed in really flamboyant polyester clothes. OK, gay people have better fashion sense. But the principal is the same. And with the release of the long-awaited box set of Star Trek: The Original Series (Season One) on DVD, fans of Kirk, Spock and McCoy will be forced to endure even more discrimination at the hands of bigoted sales clerks who mock them even as they zap their customized Trek Mastercards. But, oh my brothers and sisters, is it ever worth it! True, all the episodes were available previously on individual discs with much the same video quality. But Paramount has gathered up all 29 of them, slapped on a respectful 5.1 remix,...

THE FLICKS: The British film industry has always faced an uphill battle. With not enough money or marquee stars to seriously compete with Hollywood, television seemed like a more natural outlet for a country rich in theatrical tradition (remember, some guy named Shakespeare lived there?). Hence the teleplay, which had its fair share of popularity in the States as well, offered a more intimate dialogue driven medium that produced a number of breakout writers, directors and actors, who went on to international big screen success. Director Alan Clarke was not among them. That is to say, Clarke’s most influential and notable work remained on the small screen where he developed a reputation as an “actor’s director,” taking chances with inexperienced, unknown thespians and pursuing common themes of social ills and injustice. The Alan Clarke Collection is a full-blown departure for Blue Underground, a company best known for its cult horror/sci-fi/fantasy DVD releases, perhaps signaling an int...

THE FLICK: Call it the Dude, Where’s My Car effect: that curious sense of surprise that comes from watching a movie you expected to make you gag...only to find it surprisingly palatable. The Girl Next Door fits the profile to a tee, down to the internet ad campaign that interspersed Elisha Cuthbert’s photo with the words, “Dude, she’s a porn star!” Unless you were an underage pubescent with no access to cable-friendly porn, how aroused could your expectations be? But the film manages to build something genuinely sweet out of the masturbatory set-up, just like the recent juvenile jokesters of American Pie (and the even more similar Tom Cruise classic, Risky Business). Matthew Kidman (Emile Hirsh) is a straight-“A” student working toward an all-important college scholarship until it all goes out the window...literally...when he catches a glimpse of the new neighbor, Danielle (Cuthbert), stripping down to her skivvies. After a brief courtship, Matthew finds out the girl of his dreams is a...

THE FLICKS: Some movie premises are almost foolproof. As in, it would take a real wanker to screw them up. And John Wyndham’s story, “The Midwich Cuckoos,” is one of those perfect building blocks executed with equal aplomb in cinematic form by director Wolf Rilla as Village of the Damned. A classy sci-fi thriller, the film adeptly weaves a real-world feel around its single fantasy element of mysterious children born to a quaint country village all on the same day. After the population of Midwich blacks out for several hours (in a fabulously photographed introduction), all women of child-bearing age are found to be pregnant. After birth, the blonde-haired brood develop at three times the rate of a human child and quickly impose their will against anyone who oppose them (as evidenced by their glowing-grey eyes). Their mental powers are such that no one dares speak out for fear of a horrible retribution. Only professor Gordon Zellaby (George Sanders), himself the “father” of one of the ch...

THE FLICK: Frank Hopkins and his horse, Hidalgo, are a dying breed. So is their movie. An old-fashioned adventure story without any monsters, foul-language or showy special effects (well, maybe one or two), there was a time Hidalgo would have made every kid’s top-ten list. Now it stands out simply because of its simplicity. A past-his-prime cowboy slumming in a Wild West show, Hopkins (Viggo Mortensen of LOTR) accepts an invitation to an endurance race across the Middle East on the back of his famous painted Mustang, Hidalgo. The competition resents his infidel horse’s impure blood and look for every opportunity to put him out of the race. But Hopkins trudges on through sandstorms, locust swarms and a family feud between warring nobles. A bit too epic for its own good (I could have done without Hopkins Indian identity crisis), Hidalgo picks up at about the 45-minute mark with the start of the race. The film makes full use of the stunning locale – rolling dunes and worn riders silhouett...

THE FLICK: This is the part where I normally explain the appeal of director Lucio Fulci, a filmmaker of rather dubious qualifications but nevertheless adored by fans across the world. Why? Because the man knows how to pop eyeballs, crush craniums and shred flesh like nobody’s business. But if you’re even a casual fan of horror, I won’t waste time on what you already know. Suffice to say Blue Underground has treated Fulci’s films far better than they deserve on DVD. And the trend continues with Zombie, which, if not the director’s most accomplished film, is certainly his most bankable thanks to the pseudo-sequel tie-in with Romero’s Dawn of the Dead. Fulci, though, doesn’t waste his time with social satire or dark comedy (intentional comedy, anyway) but gets right down the bloody business of loosing his zombie horde on the world (or at least, the parts he can afford the location costs). The film opens with a very effective Nosferatu image of an abandoned sailboat drifting into New York ...

THE FLICK: As Hollywood digs further in the pantheon of comic-book heroes mining for cinematic success, Hellboy seem the most unlikely of choices. Not for lack of creativity, mind you. The eccentrically inventive story combines Nazis, demons, secret government agencies and doomed love triangles to great effect. But it’s precisely this hodge-podge of ingredients that should have made any adaptation of Mike Mignola’s witty sardonic hero nigh impossible. Should have. But I don’t think anyone was counting on director Guillermo Del Toro’s masterful balancing act of humor, horror, action and actual character development...especially when your character is a 9-foot tall red-skinned devil-child with sawed off horns and a pointed tail. When all is said and done, Hellboy makes for an invigorating experience – unpredictable, unusual and all the more exceptional because none of this cult comic book BS should work on the big screen...but it does. Kicking off during WWII with a raid on demon-conjuri...

THE FLICK: Only Mel Brooks could break cinematic ground by breaking wind! Or so he claims in the extras in Warner Bros. 30th Anniversary Special Edition DVD of Blazing Saddles, the director’s send-up of classic Hollywood westerns and 1974 racial stereotypes. Cleavon Little has the title role of Bart, a smart-mouthed railroad worker who is railroaded into becoming the first black Sheriff in the West, moseying into Rock Ridge much to the dismay of the local redneck populace. It’s all part of crooked politician Headley Lamar’s (Harvey Korman) plan to scare off the property owners and make way for untold profits as the railroad comes to town. But when Bart and his alcoholic sidekick, the Waco Kid (Gene Wilder), get wind of the plan, the entire town comes to its senses and stands up to Slim Pickens and his gang of rough-riding bad guys. Blazing Saddles gets away with more racial epithets and politically incorrect humor than any film in the history of cinema. The reason being, they’re all eq...

THE FLICK: Robert Ludlum will be the first to admit he’s simply a storyteller. The late author says as much in the extras on Universal’s new Explosive Extended Edition DVD of THE BOURNE IDENTITY. But if you’ve ever picked up one of the Bourne novels and suffered through the piss-poor descriptive passages and thick-tongued dialogue, you might need some more convincing. Thankfully, the cinematic incarnation of amnesiac super-spy Jason Bourne (played by the unlikely choice of Matt Damon) emphasizes the strengths of Ludlum’s story, a noir-ish road trip of cobblestone street car chases and post-Cold War government conspiracies. Although some of the simple-minded plot holes come along for the ride, too. In a genre that traditionally values explosions over exposition, it’s nice to see director Doug Liman bring his free-wheeling, improv-style of filmmaking (see his infectiously fun debut “Go”). THE BOURNE IDENTITY still finds time for quick-cut hand-to-hand combat and gunplay, but the film use...

THE SHOW: TV on DVD is now officially the hottest thing since Britney french-kissed Madonna (actually, that’s old news too, but it’s the thought that counts). But after you’ve written about one season of Charlie’s Angels, The A-Team or Starsky and Hutch, haven’t you pretty much said all there is to say? With most series, that’s true, but South Park Season Four demands some special attention. Not only does it represent the pinnacle of Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s taboo shattering comedic schtick it also features a number of “firsts” that simply must be recognized. The first appearance of Timmy and the Lords of the Underworld. The reunited team of Cheech and Chong (even if it’s only in animated form). The debut of Stan, Kyle, Cartman & Kenny’s boy band, Fingerbang. And the introduction of new fourth-grade teacher, Ms. Choksondik. You’ll find a full listing below, but what it won’t tell you is how $&#damn funny each and every one of these episodes is. Really, there’s not a loser i...

THE FLICK: The signature image of Billy Bob Thornton in a Santa suit puking his drunken guts out in a dirty back alley says more than any film critic’s review ever will. If you find the description amusing or even curiously sacrilegious (even though Santa never appears in the Bible people can get pretty defensive about the jolly old elf’s reputation), then “Bad Santa” is for you. And if you’re feeling really naughty, pick up “Badder Santa,” which adds seven more minutes of curse words, simulated sex and holiday cynicism. Thornton is an alcoholic safecracker who runs a yearly department store scam dressed as Santa, reeking of liquor and cigarettes as the children pee, puke and cry on his lap. The plan’s mastermind is his partner, ? (), a dwarf who uses his size to thwart whatever security measures the mall employs. The scam is on course until Thorton becomes unintentionally attached to a needy fat kid and finds himself part of a distorted family unit along with his sometime bartender gi...

THE FLICKS: Robocop is a film that shouldn’t have succeeded on any level, starting with a title that even its own writers found embarrassing. But somehow Dutch director Paul Verhoeven turned the script’s trite sci-fi escapism into a hilariously brutal satire of American capitalism – and still managed to keep the action fast and furious. Peter Weller is Murphy; an honest cop who is brutally murdered then resurrected as the future of law enforcement, Robocop. Fighting his scattered human memories, along with the corrupt executives within OCP, the Reagan-era mega-corporation that now own old-Detroit, Murphy finds himself torn between his programming and his cop instincts. Partner, ? (Nancy Allen) helps him bring down the bad guys and restore his humanity. Not only does Robocop work as a gruesome sci-fi adventure (especially in the longer unrated cut included here), but its barbed-wire wit cuts right to the core of 80’s excess, particularly the laughably over-the-top TV commercials and new...

THE FLICK: The allure of the gangster lifestyle has inspired filmmakers from Howard Hawks to Martin Scorsese – feeding off the intrinsically dramatic rise to power and equally satisfying fall from grace. Fernando Meirelles’ City of God blends this familiar story within a more socially conscious framework. The working-class slums of Rio de Janeiro are the setting for his manically brilliant coming-of-age gangster film, more alive with true cinematic joie de vive than anything in recent memory. Based on a true story of Brazilian gang violence in the 60’s and 70’s, the film follows Rocket, a quiet bystander to the world of violence around him, but jumps from character to character as the crime saga unfolds. Lil’ Ze, who commits his first mass murder by the age of 10, kills his way to the top of the slums. And his taste for blood affects everyone’s life - from Benny, his second-in-command looking to escape to the simple life, to the “runts,” pre-teen gangs who steal candy, cash or whatever...

THE FLICK: For those with an appreciation for Victorian-style horror (Hammer did it best, but there’s quite a few others who took a crack at the big bosomed, starched-collar period-piece genre), the top billing of Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing in The Creeping Flesh is enough to garner considerable attention. For despite their frequent parings, the two rarely played a scene in the same room, let alone with any significant dialogue. This Freddie Francis directed thriller doesn’t offer much other than that, casting Cushing as an obsessive research-type and Lee as his priggish psychiatrist half-brother. The aforementioned “creeping flesh” comes from an ancient skeleton in Cushing’s lab which when exposed to water reconstitutes into a gooey slime monster with telekinetic powers. But before all the scares start, we have to watch Cushing inject his daughter with some “pure evil” solution, which sends her on a psychotic rampage. She winds up in Lee’s asylum, where he jealously blackmails h...

THE FLICK: During their hey-day in the 60’s, spaghetti westerns got no respect. And that might still be the case today if it weren’t for one director: Sergio Leone. The most obvious reason for the success of his “Dollars” trilogy which concluded with “The Good, the Bad & the Ugly,” is the presence of Clint Eastwood. But it was Leone’s work behind the camera that made Eastwood a star...not the other way around. At first glance none of his films stray far from the spaghetti format – stylized violence, stripped-down story and copious close-ups of squinting eyes and itchy trigger fingers. But with “G, B & U,” Leone stretched the genre to fit more grandiose ideas than anyone ever thought possible. Ego may have been the motivating factor (Leone always saw himself as a David Lean-type director whose skills went unrecognized), but the result is irrefutably one of the best westerns ever made. After setting up the background for his trio of leads (Eastwood is the soft-hearted loner, Eli ...

THE FLICK: It’s impossible to manufacture a cult movie. It just goes against the definition of the word. Films like “Rocky Horror” and the “Evil Dead” trilogy were ultimately successful because of a genuine passion that came through onscreen; not some pre-fab notion that audiences would embrace anything intentionally bizarre or left-of-center. But if ever a film came close to gauging the sort of cult reaction it would inspire upon release, it’s “Bubba Ho-Tep.” Director Don Coscarelli (“Phantasm”) and star Bruce Campbell (“Evil Dead’) are no strangers to rabid horror fans to begin with, but working with a story that combines an aging Elvis Presley, a black JFK and an 4000 year-old soul sucking mummy from East Texas all but guaranteed some curiosity seekers. What they might not have expected is a sweetly sentimental heart beating deep underneath all the horror-comedy hijinks. Lifted from a novella by Joe R. Lansdale, the set-up finds Elvis hiding in a run-down nursing home, his fame noth...

THE FLICKS: Let me make this perfectly clear: no review will ever to justice to the Walt Disney’s Treasures collection...especially this one. There simply isn’t enough time in the day, week or the month to browse through everything these discs have to offer. These are, without a doubt, the very definition of collectible DVDs. And as such, their value (both as limited edition pressings and as entertainment) will vary depending on how interested you are in the material presented. But there’s no denying that Wave 3 is every bit the accomplishment the previous discs were. And Disney is due for some seriously good karma just by making these shorts, features and television short subjects available, many for the first time in fifty years. So what’s all the fuss about. Well, first is Mickey Mouse in Living Color, covering the mouse house mascot’s career from 1939 to today featuring 21 shorts, including oldies and more recent resurrection attempts like “Runaway Brain.” As host Leonard Maltin ex...

THE FLICK: Just as “Jaws” ushered in the modern blockbuster, one could say “Independence Day” was the first post-modern blockbuster. Marketed as a movie event, the final product that audiences saw onscreen was almost beside the point. This was peer pressure filmmaking (“What else are you gonna do, read a book?”) and inspired the now commonplace box-office habit of recouping the bulk of the production costs on opening weekend. After that, it’s all gravy. So it’s surprising to revisit director Roland Emmerich’s alien invasion/disaster flick combo and find it’s not quite the empty headed money making machine everyone remembers it to be. In fact, unlike most of today’s event movies, “Independence Day” delivers on its promise to “wow” you with worldwide destruction on a vast scale plus some cleverly scripted twists that make the overloaded story hum with 8-year-old’s unbridled enthusiasm. Yes, I did say “clever” and “Independence Day” in the same sentence, but stick with me. The story (and ...

THE FLICK: I know it’s tantamount to heresy to admit this in the state of Michigan, but I’m not a big hockey fan (and after watching the Red Wings sink yet another season, I imagine some other fair-weather fans might say the same thing). So the movie “Miracle” might not be the religious experience for me that it is for fans who view that one incredible victory in the 1980 winter Olympics over the Soviets as the sport’s crowning achievement. However, it’s impossible not to recognize the near-perfect performance by Kurt Russell as tough-as-nails coach Herb Brooks, the man who molded a group of amateur college kids into a team that could rival the best in the world...at least for one night. “Miracle” skates around most of the underdog sports film clichés to deliver the unexpected; a character-driven drama that’s more interested in the “how” behind the team’s success rather than the big game itself. Not that the classic match-up, when it finally arrives, isn’t suitably dramatic. Director G...

GHOSTS OF THE ABYSS – Originally released in Imax theaters, this James Cameron directed exploration of the “real” Titanic loses some of its grandeur in the confines of a home theater. Bill Paxton tags along as the self-professed “king of the world” guides robotic cameras into areas of the sunken luxury liner that have never been seen before. The DVD includes the new 90-minute cut of the film plus a whole disc of extra footage, interviews and multi-angle features. 13 GOING ON 30 – Every generation since the original “Freaky Friday” puts their stamp on the whole body swapping routine. You know the drill: kid gets tired of doing homework, walking the dog, taking out the garbage, and dreams of growing up overnight so they can drink, smoke and stay up watching late night talk shows (trust me kids, it’s not as glamorous as it sounds). “13 Going On 30” follows the same formula but with a more romantic angle in mind. Jenna (played as an adult by “Alias” star Jennifer Garner, who comes off much...

THE FLICK: ItÕs been a while since director Richard Donner has gone medieval. Think back to a time before Matthew Broderick was ÒMr. Sarah Jessica ParkerÓ and was starring in the modest hit ÒLadyhawkeÓ with Michelle Pfeiffer. ItÕs been a while for author Michael Crichton, tooÉall the way back to ÒEaters of the DeadÓ (which was turned into ÒThe 13th WarriorÓ on film not so long ago). But thatÕs more experience than most filmmakers ever get with this historical sub-genre usually limited to sword-and-sorcery epics replete with cut-rate visual effects and scads of tatterdemalion extras. So ÒTimelineÓ at least has a couple of guys with experience to take the reigns. Unfortunately, the horses must have bolted somewhere in production and never circled back. The casting, the script, the editing Ð no department seems to have been on the same page. How else to you explain surfer-dude extraordinaire Paul Walker as the son of a renowned archeologist (not to mention his inexplicable crush on his da...

THE FLICK: With all the praise heaped on director David Fincher by adoring cinephiles it’s no wonder he has delusions of Hitchcockian greatness. How else could you explain him taking on the challenge of a film set almost entirely inside one room, inside one house, with a one massive McGuffin at the heart of it all. “Panic Room” is Fincher’s mental exercise; a directorial challenge of storyboarded B-movie visual excess. The results (suspenseful but showy with an overly simplistic script from David Koepp) are much closer to Hitchcock hand-me-downs Brian DePalma or Dario Argento than the old master himself. Jodie Foster tackles the single-mom role as a recently divorced Manhattan apartment shopper who buys a three floor brownstone which houses a singular curiosity piece: a well-stocked panic room, complete with video monitors, air conditioning and a safe full of money. Of course, no one knows about the money except the three men who break in to steal it (played by Forest Whitaker, Jared L...